The Gooner Forum

I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.

I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider

My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge

And you admit to shopping at Argos?

Arachnist bastard!!!!!

If we were all like YOU, Barry, the world would be knee-deep in flies!

Oh, wait, I just thought of another use for an Argos catalogue.

corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.

I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider

My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge

Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)

just as well you didnt drop your new laptop on him

I use my Argo book to show the kids all the wonderful toys they could get if they had parents that loved them

franksav63 wrote:

corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.

I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider

My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge

Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)

Ah yes... the poof's solution, Frank...

Barry, you should get a can of the missus's (in Percy/Gus's case, his own) hairspray light the fucker up and show that fly what a napalm strike was like back in the Nam dude...

Whhoooooosshhhh! Burn you dink muthafucka!! That's for my best buddies - Doc, 8-ball and Boonieman!

DB10GOONER wrote:

franksav63 wrote:

corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.

I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider

My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge

Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)

Ah yes... the poof's solution, Frank...

Barry, you should get a can of the missus's (in Percy/Gus's case, his own) hairspray light the fucker up and show that fly what a napalm strike was like back in the Nam dude...

Whhoooooosshhhh! Burn you dink muthafucka!! That's for my best buddies - Doc, 8-ball and Boonieman!

Hmmm, now you put it like that, it does read a bit gay to be fair...

MutleyGooner wrote:I use my Argo book to show the kids all the wonderful toys they could get if they had parents that loved them

I like!!!