The Gooner Forum

21 chat up lines to get you laid

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"We've hit the Jackpot here!!!" - Homer Simpson

1. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

2. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

3. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

4. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot

5. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

6. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.

7. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.

8. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need

9. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

10. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

11. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"

12. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?

13. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

14. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

15. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

16. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

17. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?

18. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?

19. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?

20. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

21. The only thing I want between our relationship is latex

Hope i get the chance to use some of em

Ha Ha some class ones there, Reb...

They may work on Cork women, but more likely to earn you a slap in the face up here.

Your body reminds me of a spanner... everytime I think of you my nuts tighten

goonersid wrote:They may work on Cork women, but more likely to earn you a slap in the face up here.

Anything works on cork women, they are so used to looking at langers everyday of the week

Deise Gooner wrote:

goonersid wrote:They may work on Cork women, but more likely to earn you a slap in the face up here.

Anything works on cork women, they are so used to looking at langers everyday of the week

oi


deiseslop

mrgnu1958 wrote:Hope i get the chance to use some of em

Clearly you don't want to get laid.

a few to add here like

1. "Can I smell your fanny?
No!
Must be your feet then"

2. "The names Bond... No not James Bond.... UniBond, Ive come to fill ya crack in."

3. "Is your dad in prison?
no, why?
cause if I was your dad, I'd be in prison"

4. "dont struggle, I've got a knife"

5. "do you want a drink??

yes please

well f*ck off and buy one while i speak to your mate..."

6. You dont sweat much for a fat bird

7. "nice legs! what time do they open?"

8. "do you know the difference between a dick and a chicken leg? no?

wanna come to my BBQ?"

Ha ha quality...