The Gooner Forum

· If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.



· Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.



· Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.



· Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.



· Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.



· A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.



· A closed mouth gathers no feet.



· If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.



· My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.



· I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.



· If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.



· Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.



· Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.



· A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.



· Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.



· Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.



· No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.