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Christmas Party Nightmares...
Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 9:04 pm
by frankbutcher
Anyone got any horror shows?
We had our do last week. All seemed quite low-key and chilled at the meal. One £1,000 bar bill later, things weren't quite so rosy. Particularly when I rocked up at the office the next morning to be told that I'd been snogging the face off of one my Assistants (female

, who is engaged to be married in the Summer.
Things have been a little awkward since......
Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:44 pm
by digger
Did you make this post just so everyone knew you sucked face with her?

Re: Christmas Party Nightmares...
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:06 am
by olgitgooner
frankbutcher wrote:Anyone got any horror shows?
We had our do last week. All seemed quite low-key and chilled at the meal. One £1,000 bar bill later, things weren't quite so rosy. Particularly when I rocked up at the office the next morning to be told that I'd been snogging the face off of one my Assistants (female

, who is engaged to be married in the Summer.
Things have been a little awkward since......
You just have to hope the the fiance of the gruesome old slapper finds out about it.
You will have saved some poor sod from getting married to a wrong'n.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:54 am
by DB10GOONER
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:45 am
by Boomer
Nothing major but the only tale I have was in an inebriated state berating Simon Jordan.
Every year our company host an industry awards ceremony and in the past it was held at the posh Grosvenor House hotel.
Once the awards had started and the wine was well and truly flowing a group of us headed to the upstairs hotel bar. In the bar, and not connected to the awards, we noticed the Palace Chairmen. I’ve never been a fan of him so rather loudly I started slagging him of to my mates so he could also hear. Jordan’s mates clearly weren’t happy with the unprovoked and one way abuse I was giving so before it got out of hand I was escorted by my colleagues away.
Hardly epic but still funny to recall the next morning.
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 11:25 am
by SWLGooner
I put a pool cue through a pane of glass at the Namco Arcade on the Southbank when I was 11, at my old man's as party, then proceeded to hit some other little *word censored* (we all were tbf) called Darren with said cue.
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 11:29 am
by Percy Dalton
Not me personally but three years ago the company I then worked for hired a floor of a nightclub in Leicester Square.
At the end of the night one of my staff got into a scuffle whilst waiting to get their coats from the cloakroom. A guy had pushed in and then started to run his mouth off saying how much he had spent that night and giving it the large. After too much of this on of my Technician's had enough and laid him out.
The mouthy guy was our Chief Executive.
He didn't come to work the next day............or ever again funnily enough!

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:48 pm
by flash gunner
SWLGooner wrote:I put a pool cue through a pane of glass at the Namco Arcade on the Southbank when I was 11, at my old man's as party, then proceeded to hit some other little c**t (we all were tbf) called Darren with said cue.
That was you!!!!!!
We havent had a Christmas party here for 3 or 4 years

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:29 pm
by olgitgooner
Percy Dalton wrote:Not me personally but three years ago the company I then worked for hired a floor of a nightclub in Leicester Square.
At the end of the night one of my staff got into a scuffle whilst waiting to get their coats from the cloakroom. A guy had pushed in and then started to run his mouth off saying how much he had spent that night and giving it the large. After too much of this on of my Technician's had enough and laid him out.
The mouthy guy was our Chief Executive.
He didn't come to work the next day............or ever again funnily enough!


Not a good career move.
The worst experience I had was at a New Years party.
On the stroke of midnight, a chav *word censored* laid out his own mother.
Needless to say the rest of the evening was totally fucked up. All because of one no-good gobshite.

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 6:59 pm
by Number 5
I ate four people's dinners once at a do in the Fashion & Textile museum.
Not really a horror story but many people at my table had a new respect/disgust for me after that.
Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:26 am
by richpye
Ate 33 Brussels Sprouts in a competition one year. Coupled with a lot of alcohol, my guts have never felt worse in my life
Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:31 am
by frankbutcher
richpye wrote:Ate 33 Brussels Sprouts in a competition one year. Coupled with a lot of alcohol, my guts have never felt worse in my life
Cool hand puke?

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:45 pm
by cardinal2011
A few years back my then firm had a works do in a posh hotel in town. To save travelling I got a room for the night. During the evening I got talking to a fit bird from our call center who by then had already one too many glasses of vino and was well on her way. At the end of the night I had gotton a snog and the girl in question agreed to come back to my room for another drink. After being in the room for a while she excused herself and rather unsteadily went into the toilet. After a few minutes of not hearing anything or getting any response from knocking I opened the unlocked door. I then found the girl half slumpped on the floor, having passed out mid dump!!!!!!
Needless to say that killed any passion and I managed to get rid of her in a taxi. Funnily enough whenever I saw her around the building after that she would run off in the opposite direction lol.
Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:50 pm
by MutleyGooner
Many years ago the firm I worked for had their xmas do at a rather swanky golf and country club. I decided to book one of the apartments available for hire rather than drive. After the bash had fininshed and many drinks later me and a few colleagues went back to the appartment to carry on partying and upon entering the living area decided to warm the place up by attempting to light the fireplace

We struggled in our attempts to keep the phone books, reading material and anything else we could lay our hands upon to burn...............I did try to explain to the Clubs Manager that we had no idea that it was an ornamental fireplace and that this point should have been made clearer, unfortunately it didn't stop me being given a very hefty room bill for the cleaning and refurnishing of the living area

Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:12 pm
by frankbutcher
MutleyGooner wrote:Many years ago the firm I worked for had their xmas do at a rather swanky golf and country club. I decided to book one of the apartments available for hire rather than drive. After the bash had fininshed and many drinks later me and a few colleagues went back to the appartment to carry on partying and upon entering the living area decided to warm the place up by attempting to light the fireplace

We struggled in our attempts to keep the phone books, reading material and anything else we could lay our hands upon to burn...............I did try to explain to the Clubs Manager that we had no idea that it was an ornamental fireplace and that this point should have been made clearer, unfortunately it didn't stop me being given a very hefty room bill for the cleaning and refurnishing of the living area

Reminds me of the time my Dad put all the Christmas wrapping paper on our log fire. Minutes later you couldn't see from one side of the room to the other, due to the acrid thick smoke billowing out from the fireplace.
