Thanks mateOneBardGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 10:18 pmWell Done Mate... Not An Easy Thing To Go Through!LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pmCheers Bard and Stu
Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic
LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
- DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:29 amMy wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.'
'What's that?', she said.
'It's a big building with kids in it.'
Quality.
The younger punters on here won't get that one!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:50 amWayne Rooney has revealed he's delighted to have smashed dry January.
January, 87, is recovering after undergoing emergency vaginal surgery.
Oof fucking hell!
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Sorry to hear that Lefty. But onwards and upwards mate. Get drunk, go on a poon hunt. You'll feel better.LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pmCheers Bard and Stu
Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic
Some cracking jokes mate. Many thanks.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Thanks mate, I will PM you to let you know what's happening in the last year, glad you enjoyed the jokesDB10GOONER wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 3:26 pmSorry to hear that Lefty. But onwards and upwards mate. Get drunk, go on a poon hunt. You'll feel better.LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pmCheers Bard and Stu
Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic
Some cracking jokes mate. Many thanks.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Well I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Nope, received nothing yet mate.LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:38 pmWell I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
DB10GOONER wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:04 pmNope, received nothing yet mate.LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 8:38 pmWell I think I've pm'd you lol, let me know if you received it
Fuck I'm shit at this will try again mate
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
You should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pmYou should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol
I got it buddy. Response sent.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Can’t believe what I saw in McDonald’s today. An old man placed an order for one hamburger , French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink , his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger , the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking , 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said , they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything..
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again , the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No , thank you , we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally , as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin , the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
'THE FUCKING TEETH!!!
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half , placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries , dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink , his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger , the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking , 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said , they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything..
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again , the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No , thank you , we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally , as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin , the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
'THE FUCKING TEETH!!!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I went to a really trendy nightclub last night. The doorman said to me, "Sorry mate, I can't let you in, you've had too many!"
I said, "What, drinks?"
He said "No, birthdays!"
I said, "What, drinks?"
He said "No, birthdays!"
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
At lastDB10GOONER wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 9:43 amLeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pmYou should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol
I got it buddy. Response sent.
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Do online dating buddy, you’ll always be getting tons of messages !!LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pmYou should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Stuart L (2) wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 4:44 pmDo online dating buddy, you’ll always be getting tons of messages !!LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 9:32 pmYou should have it now, been pm'ing myself lol