LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Wayne Rooney has revealed he's delighted to have smashed dry January.

January, 87, is recovering after undergoing emergency vaginal surgery.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I can?t understand how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals and blaming it on cost of living!

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Women always claim to want security in a relationship.

But the moment I lock them in my cellar.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

It's about time we put doctor's receptionists at the border controls.

Let's see how many illegals get past them!

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

If anyone wants a list of my favourite Bugs Bunny quotes, I'll send them to you in a WhatsApp doc.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I hear that Dentists are going on strike.

Brace yourselves.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

A Relationships and Sex Education teacher enters the classroom with a banana.

He says, "Boys and girls, today I will teach you how to put on a condom.

I brought the banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach."

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

:coffeespit: ! :high5:

Some absolute crackers there Lefty... especially the fake orgasm & the Shamim Begum one's !!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Stuart L (2)
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by Stuart L (2) »

Lots of good ones on their mate, :lol: :lol:

:barscarf: :barscarf:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Cheers Bard and Stu :barscarf:

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic :lol:

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TeeCee
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by TeeCee »

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Stuart L (2)
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by Stuart L (2) »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm
Cheers Bard and Stu :barscarf:

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic :lol:
Many congratulations 🍻🍻

Hope all good with you mate

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Stuart L (2) wrote:
Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:12 pm
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm
Cheers Bard and Stu :barscarf:

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic :lol:
Many congratulations 🍻🍻

Hope all good with you mate
I'm good thanks mate, having a wine watching the football :barscarf:

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Mar 01, 2023 3:06 pm
Cheers Bard and Stu :barscarf:

Signed my divorce papers today so thought jokes were a perfect tonic :lol:
Well Done Mate... Not An Easy Thing To Go Through!


:cheers:

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