LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[gazzatt2]

best wishes for the future Lefty
I'm sure it will work out for the best
appreciate the jokes
Gazza

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

best wishes for the future Lefty
I'm sure it will work out for the best
appreciate the jokes
Gazza

Cheers Gazza

[OneBardGooner]

Lefty! Lefty! Lefty!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Lefty! Lefty! Lefty!

[OneBardGooner]

Lefty! Lefty! Give Us A Joke!

Lefty! Lefty! Give Us A Joke!

[OneBardGooner]

or two!

[gazzatt2]

or 4

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

The missus said she was leaving me because I keep talking like a news reader .

More on that story later.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My girlfriend hates giving me oral sex.

I think that's what she's trying to say, anyway.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law. She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face

Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the spade.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Miss Wales suffers broken pelvis and 2 broken bones in her neck after being involved in a crash on the M4.

She had a lucky escape though. The rest of the flock had to be put down.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Even though I live at number 6, I paint no 34 on my bin so the binmen leave it near my house.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I saw a sign in a shop window that read ‘Pay No Interest’

So I carried on walking.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.

I woke this morning with a huge correction.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

A factory which makes prosthetic limbs for obese amputees was broken into last night.

Police are looking for two heavily armed men.