LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

BBC to launch new series ,

WHO DO YOU THINK HE IS ??

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I'm determined to transition into a woman

I'll get my cunnt

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:38 - Realised watch was broken

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Get my coat.

You've pulled a chauvinist

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

OceanGate - offering tourists the authentic Titanic experience

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

How many misogynists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's the slag's job.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband havent spent a single night apart in 31 years.

Poor bastard. Waking up every morning must be like that scene in The Godfather.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Went on Dragon's Den with my new Exfoliating Wand aimed at the beauty industry.

I didn't get an investment though. In hindsight, maybe Spa Stick wasn't the best name.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Unfortunately the inventor of the innuendo has passed away.

His wife is taking it really hard.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Passenger who took 2021 trip to see Titanic says "sub was not safe"

You?d have thought the cunnt would have mentioned it on Trip Advisor.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Ahh high school... Smoking behind the bike sheds, fingerings girls, telling teachers to go get fucked, taking random days off.

I really miss my janitors job.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I, for one, would take more notice of feminists if they put a nice dress on and wore a bit of make up.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Trans people always complain there is no bathroom for them to use, despite the fact most establishments have disabled toilets

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

You know when you are at that stage in your marriage when, the wife says, "Your on a promise this weekend"

And you're thinking, "I hope it's a mixed grill".

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I've started a new website which rates prostitutes on the quality of their handjobs.

For more details, head over to GripAdvisor.