Page 185 of 219
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2022 6:41 pm
by Postman
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.
The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't.
It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.
He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.
The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:13 pm
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
by OneBardGooner
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 7:18 am
by LeftfootlegendGooner
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Cheers Onebard, I've not posted much for a while, life's taken a few unexpected twists but thought I'd drop in
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 9:02 am
by OneBardGooner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 7:18 am
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Cheers Onebard, I've not posted much for a while, life's taken a few unexpected twists but thought I'd drop in
Well it/they made me laugh lots!
Hope those unexpected twists sort themselves out mate!.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 11:45 am
by gazzatt2
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 7:18 am
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Cheers Onebard, I've not posted much for a while, life's taken a few unexpected twists but thought I'd drop in
I enjoy your jokes
currently recovering form an operation to pin a bone in my foot (right
)
6 weeks in a cast with no weight to be on foot so far
hope you can post more often
hope your unexpected twists are resolved or can be
Gazza
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 1:09 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 9:02 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 7:18 am
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Cheers Onebard, I've not posted much for a while, life's taken a few unexpected twists but thought I'd drop in
Well it/they made me laugh lots!
Hope those unexpected twists sort themselves out mate!.
Cheers mate, I hope so too
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 1:11 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
gazzatt2 wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 11:45 am
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 7:18 am
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 7:14 pm
ps: Enjoyed all those jokes Lefty! First Class mate!
Cheers Onebard, I've not posted much for a while, life's taken a few unexpected twists but thought I'd drop in
I enjoy your jokes
currently recovering form an operation to pin a bone in my foot (right
)
6 weeks in a cast with no weight to be on foot so far
hope you can post more often
hope your unexpected twists are resolved or can be
Gazza
Cheers gazza, I hope your foot recovers well, yes I shall post more often now I know there's two who look on this thread
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 3:09 pm
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2022 3:23 pm
by StuartL
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Fri Aug 26, 2022 4:02 pm
I just failed my RAF entrance exam.
Apparently 'the bombay doors' are NOT an Indian tribute band.
That was my favourite
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sun Aug 28, 2022 8:16 pm
by Midz
I liked the dwarf / bungalow very much
I've decided to sell my hoover....it's just gathering dust!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:01 am
by corkbarry1
FIRST TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you. - Saul.
Morris, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey? It'll be the death of us.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2022 8:55 pm
by Midz
corkbarry1 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 30, 2022 11:01 am
FIRST TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. This is Saul, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you. - Saul.
Morris, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Saul dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Morris then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Saul.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, Morris. Saul here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey? It'll be the death of us.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 4:08 pm
by Midz
I've just tried to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween & the girl in the shop tried to sell me a Tottenham shirt.
I said I think you must have misheard me..... I want to look like a count!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2022 7:57 am
by DB10GOONER
Midz wrote: ↑Wed Nov 09, 2022 4:08 pm
I've just tried to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween & the girl in the shop tried to sell me a Tottenham shirt.
I said I think you must have misheard me..... I want to look like a count!
