The Gooner Forum

I'm currently recovering from a couple of fractured ribs and as such am on some pain killers. One of the side effects that I was warned of was constipation Well four days in and I have just had what can only be described as the devil pass through my bowels. The pain I was half expecting, the need to open all of the windows in the house has taken us all by surprise. You know things are bad when your next door neighbour knocks to ask If you have noticed a problem with the drains

MutleyGooner wrote:I'm currently recovering from a couple of fractured ribs and as such am on some pain killers. One of the side effects that I was warned of was constipation Well four days in and I have just had what can only be described as the devil pass through my bowels. The pain I was half expecting, the need to open all of the windows in the house has taken us all by surprise. You know things are bad when your next door neighbour knocks to ask If you have noticed a problem with the drains

Yeah, and they live a mile away.

When i first read the title I thought that maybe Squid and Arshavin had been sent out on loan

wayno and gus

And this has any relevance to Arsenal how? Oh yeah we're shit.

This thread should be moved to the transfer rumours

falkirk goon wrote:When i first read the title I thought that maybe Squid and Arshavin had been sent out on loan

When I read the title I thought Mutley had been browsing Cork Baz's GIF thread down the basement. Many's the load has been shifted looking through that I can tell ya.

Most shit thread ever. FACT!

Should be in the basement with all the other shit threads.

MutleyGooner wrote:I'm currently recovering from a couple of fractured ribs and as such am on some pain killers. One of the side effects that I was warned of was constipation Well four days in and I have just had what can only be described as the devil pass through my bowels. The pain I was half expecting, the need to open all of the windows in the house has taken us all by surprise. You know things are bad when your next door neighbour knocks to ask If you have noticed a problem with the drains

Thanks for sharing Mutley made me laugh lots

begeegs wrote:This thread should be moved to the transfer rumours

Good man!!!

There's nothing on this planet as under-rated as a good shit

MutleyGooner wrote:I'm currently recovering from a couple of fractured ribs and as such am on some pain killers. One of the side effects that I was warned of was constipation Well four days in and I have just had what can only be described as the devil pass through my bowels. The pain I was half expecting, the need to open all of the windows in the house has taken us all by surprise. You know things are bad when your next door neighbour knocks to ask If you have noticed a problem with the drains

I have had dodgy bowls since last weekend. Last night was the worst. 12 pints of Guinness followed by a massive fat Chinese takeaway. Woke up in the night with terrible shits and then got it at the other end.

Shitting through the eye of a needle and puking in the bath. Superb! I am not sick with beer and I was fine, honest! Had breakfast and that came straight through as well.

"Don't nobody go in the bathroom for like, 45 minutes"
.....Friday (Part One)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pXwC91DpqE

I’ve had the constipation as well recently. Three days build up and then a release that was so solid it was fucking agony when it came out. The only good thing was it didn’t need much paperwork. Unfortunately flushing the bog did nothing. Solid brown torpedoes all racing towards the exit at the same time caused a blockage. None of them were willing to give way and so the water took ages to go down. This got worse because the first turds out were only the start. Three more dumps that night, all of which were a lot less painful than the first and so required more bog rag. The blockage still wouldn’t go and the water was getting thicker and dirtier and taking longer to go down each time. It eventually cleared after 14 flushes and some assistance from the shower hose after I’d unscrewed the head.

I went seven days once without having a clearout. I can tell you that was one hell of a dump. I felt like I could run a marathon afterwards. Nearly had to call out Dyno Rod though.

As the German's are fond of saying;

"Ach, you Ingerlish und your shizer pipe stories! Gott in Himmel!!"