fridays joke

Post by **REB** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:27 am

An man walks into the bank of Ireland and shouts to the Woman at
the counter:
' I want to open a f*cking Current account'.

The astonished woman replies 'I beg your pardon sir. I must have
misunderstood you; what did you say?'

'Listen up, you f*ck. I said I want to open a f*cking current
account now!!'.

'I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in
this bank'.

The cashier leaves the counter and goes over to the bank manager to
inform him of her situation.
The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that
foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the oul man,

'Sir, what seems to be the problem here?'

'There is no f*cking problem' the man says. 'I just won 6 million
Euro in the f*cking lotto and I just want to open a f*cking current
account,
you b*ll*x, is that okay?'

'I see,' says the manager, 'and is this fat b*tch giving you a hard
time?

Post by **SPUDMASHER** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:47 am

f*cking money talks

Red Gunner · Post by **Red Gunner** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:56 pm

Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.

While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"

The first lawyer replies, "Itâ€™s the Â£100 I owe you".

Timing is everything

charliev · Post by **charliev** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:03 pm

khalid_red wrote:Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.

While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"

The first lawyer replies, "Itâ€™s the Â£100 I owe you".

Timing is everything

Ben-gooner14 · Post by **Ben-gooner14** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:54 pm

Driver stopped for speeding. Asked for his occupation he replies, rectum stretcher.

What the fucks that? asks the cop.

Driver says, u put 1 finger in then 2 then a hand, etc, untill its 6ft wide.

Cop asks, what the fuck do you do with a 6ft arsehole?

Driver replies, give it a uniform and a fucking speed gun.