LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[corkbarry1]

When i was ten my my 14 year old brother told me the facts of life

A gang of us were gathered under an old oak tree,about 16 in total.
I said in another year or two our mikeys would get big an hard. This was passed around the group over and over when i heard one voice say
"Mine is big and hard now"
I shouted back "Fuck off Father Murpy, you shouldn't be here"


Later on i was explaining how to put it inside her when Alan Kelly started crying and mumbling.


"I don't like Cider"

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Save your wankk until 8pm on thursday so it sounds like the whole street is cheering you on .

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.

Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I hope the pubs open soon,

I need to cut down on my drinking.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I walked into the bank yesterday, and the staff were all wearing masks.

Finally some honesty.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

If you want to save money this Christmas, now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.

[DB10GOONER]

Save your wankk until 8pm on thursday so it sounds like the whole street is cheering you on .

Some blinding covid jokes Lefty but that one in particular had me laughing out loud on my empty train to work.

Hope all is good with you and yours mate. Stay safe.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Save your wankk until 8pm on thursday so it sounds like the whole street is cheering you on .

Some blinding covid jokes Lefty but that one in particular had me laughing out loud on my empty train to work.

Hope all is good with you and yours mate. Stay safe.

Yes that one is funny as, my whattsapp group love it as I'm sure yours will too

The family and I are well thanks for asking, hoping all is well with you and your loved ones too mate.

Stay safe too buddy.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Not all fat people are jolly.

Some are feminists.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

A man in Saudi Arabia has been caught stealing hand sanitiser.

He won't need it now.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?" I replied, "Mmm...."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Only 35 more claps until Christmas.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Ryanair have said they will provide free compulsory face masks for their passengers.

The elastic that goes behind your ears will be 60 Euros.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I see America has plans to save thousands more lives when the coronavirus lock down ends.

They're not opening the schools.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I bought a fanny shaped Chinese vase at auction.

Apparently it's from the Minge Dynasty.