20 TO MAKE YOU GO "AARGHHHHH"

[SPUDMASHER]

Don't blame me. They're bloody awful......

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A set of jumpleads walk into a bar. The bartender says,
'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. What is the definition of Self Destruction??
An Epileptic Leper

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does
this taste funny to you ?'

7. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'
'Is it common ?'

'Well,It's Not Unusual.'

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.'

'I don't believe you,' says Dolly.

'It's true,' exclaims Daisy, 'No bull!'

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I
couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He
shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs !'

The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !'

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes ? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says, 'Dam !'

16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as
they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts
boasting in an open foyer.'

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes
she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He
also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his
odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man,
this is so bad, it's good) .....
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20 And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different
puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the
puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

[DB10GOONER]

You will be punished for that.

[Captain Fabregas]

OHHH shit i see an Epileptic joke im off to the bomb shelter

[Charlie! Charlie!]

These are spuddy's top gags.


p.s. can someone design a "strapping on the tin hats" emoticon?

[SPUDMASHER]

These are spuddy's top gags.


p.s. can someone design a "strapping on the tin hats" emoticon?

To be honest I didn't give that any thought but then, if I were to remove that maybe I should remove number 4 in case it offends dyslexics, no 6 in case it offends cannibals and/or clowns, no 9 in case it offends invisible people, no 12 in case it offends amputees and no 19 in case it offends followers of Ghandi. The whole thing was only a copy and paste from an e-mail sent to me.

[Charlie! Charlie!]

These are spuddy's top gags.


p.s. can someone design a "strapping on the tin hats" emoticon?

To be honest I didn't give that any thought but then, if I were to remove that maybe I should remove number 4 in case it offends dyslexics, no 6 in case it offends cannibals and/or clowns, no 9 in case it offends invisible people, no 12 in case it offends amputees and no 19 in case it offends followers of Ghandi. The whole thing was only a copy and paste from an e-mail sent to me.

just pulling your leg son! onemoreminute will be offended by the invisible one as he does it around 8pm every home game.

[SPUDMASHER]

These are spuddy's top gags.


p.s. can someone design a "strapping on the tin hats" emoticon?

To be honest I didn't give that any thought but then, if I were to remove that maybe I should remove number 4 in case it offends dyslexics, no 6 in case it offends cannibals and/or clowns, no 9 in case it offends invisible people, no 12 in case it offends amputees and no 19 in case it offends followers of Ghandi. The whole thing was only a copy and paste from an e-mail sent to me.

just pulling your leg son! onemoreminute will be offended by the invisible one as he does it around 8pm every home game.

That's funny. I thought rebel would be too as he does it each time it's his round

[12thGooner]

What possessed you.

[DB10GOONER]

These are spuddy's top gags.


p.s. can someone design a "strapping on the tin hats" emoticon?

We deffo need one on here!!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Had me crying, i love silly jokes, brilliant, i laugh out loud every time i see db's little video as well

[DB10GOONER]

Had me crying, i love silly jokes, brilliant, i laugh out loud every time i see db's little video as well

So do I!!

When I fist used it a couple of people on here reprimanded me; they thought it showed a guy getting shot dead!!

[Rosie_titters]

OHHH shit i see an Epileptic joke im off to the bomb shelter

don't worry i am not going to kick off - i have come to my sense's and this joke is not directed at me - it's just a joke in jest

[DB10GOONER]

OHHH shit i see an Epileptic joke im off to the bomb shelter

don't worry i am not going to kick off - i have come to my sense's and this joke is not directed at me - it's just a joke in jest

Are we officially off DEFCON 1 then?

[mcdowell42]

Steak and Kidney pie goes into a pub asks the barman for a pint of lager the barman says sorry we dont serve food here.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Had me crying, i love silly jokes, brilliant, i laugh out loud every time i see db's little video as well

So do I!!

When I fist used it a couple of people on here reprimanded me; they thought it showed a guy getting shot dead!!

Ha ha I am going to scour the internet and see if i can find something equally as funny, doubt it though as this is a brilliant clip, my wife thinks i've gone mad every time i scan down th forum and burst out laughing.

Still women don't laugh enough i say, until i undress though ?