The Gooner Forum

LeftfootlegendGooner

What’s 6 inches long, pink and makes my wife moan all day?

Her fuckin tongue!

LeftfootlegendGooner

I like to enjoy the simple things in life.

The normal ones tell their parents.

LeftfootlegendGooner

They say '50 is the new 30'.

I still got three points on my licence though.

LeftfootlegendGooner

I paid a carpenter to make me a double bed and the cunnts done a bunk.

LeftfootlegendGooner

Got invited to BBQ party today.

Didn't go though, I'm not even sure what kind of gender a BBQ is if I'm honest.

LeftfootlegendGooner

I was a crack baby.

Unlike my brother, he was a Caesarian section.

LeftfootlegendGooner

Phil Fodens girlfriend has forgiven him for taking a girl back to his hotel room.

Well it was either that, or get a job

LeftfootlegendGooner

I said I hated my wedding cake,

Then it burst into tiers

LeftfootlegendGooner

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm
I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates it when I call her that.

My editing skills are shit

LeftfootlegendGooner

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑
Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:51 pm
I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates it when I call her that.

LeftfootlegendGooner

I orgasmed in the tub last night.

The wife fucking hates when I call her that.

LeftfootlegendGooner

Goal-line technology's nothing new to me. My wife's been asking me for years whether it was in or not.

LeftfootlegendGooner

My wife has been going to the gym and she is starting to look that good that I've had to tell her sister that she'd better start to get herself in shape.

LeftfootlegendGooner

My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish at School and he still hasn't learnt the word for please...

and I think that is poor for four.

LeftfootlegendGooner

Just found out that there is a library in my local town centre.

They kept that quiet

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