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by LeftfootlegendGooner
Fri May 22, 2020 3:40 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A mate of mine believes that the Earth is flat. I challenged him to prove it by walking off the edge...

He eventually came around.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Fri May 22, 2020 3:40 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Find a penny,
Pick it up,
And all day long You'll have good luck.*

*Advice not valid in prison showers
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Fri May 22, 2020 3:39 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

If modern society has taught us anything, it's that the less a person is qualified to have an opinion

The more likely she is to express it
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Fri May 22, 2020 3:37 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

The wife has piled on the pounds of late, last night I came home from work and she was lying on the bed in a leopard skin print dress ....

I thought it was Fred Flintstone
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Fri May 22, 2020 1:22 pm
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

The amount of jokes about coronavirus virus has reached worrying numbers.

Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:46 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses.... ...

now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:42 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Do you ever think about somebody else when we're making love?" my wife asked.

Shocked, I said. 'Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you have VR glasses on," she replied.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:38 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

I think I'll ask my dad if that offer to slap me into next year is still available.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:37 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

I bought a fanny shaped Chinese vase at auction.

Apparently it's from the Minge Dynasty.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:35 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

I see America has plans to save thousands more lives when the coronavirus lock down ends.

They're not opening the schools.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:31 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Ryanair have said they will provide free compulsory face masks for their passengers.

The elastic that goes behind your ears will be 60 Euros.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:28 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Only 35 more claps until Christmas.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:28 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?" I replied, "Mmm...."
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:26 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

A man in Saudi Arabia has been caught stealing hand sanitiser.

He won't need it now.
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Wed May 20, 2020 11:23 am
Forum: The Cannonballs
Topic: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Replies: 2326
Views: 139897

Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Not all fat people are jolly.

Some are feminists.