LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”

[Midz]

I went to a pet shop and put a sign saying 'Chameleon' next to an empty cage ......

[OneBardGooner]

I went to a pet shop and put a sign saying 'Chameleon' next to an empty cage ......

Can't see the harm in it!

[OneBardGooner]

Suffolk Police have confirmed that a man who fell into a combine-harvester..while trying to steal it...has been bailed!!

That's the last straw!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Suffolk Police have confirmed that a man who fell into a combine-harvester..while trying to steal it...has been bailed!!

That's the last straw!

Hay that's good

[OneBardGooner]

Suffolk Police have confirmed that a man who fell into a combine-harvester..while trying to steal it...has been bailed!!

That's the last straw!

Hay that's good

I should have known not to cross Comedic swords with you mate!


Foiled again!

[DB10GOONER]

“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”

[TeeCee]

A man started a new job at a zoo. He was given his first job by the zoo owner – to clean out the large tropical fish tank, which contained many exotic species.

While removing some gravel from the tank with his spade, he accidently hit one of the fish and killed it. Worried about losing his job for this mistake, he decided to hide the evidence. He took the fish and fed it to the lions because lions eat anything.

The zoo owner did not notice the missing fish and gave the man a new job - to muck out the chimps. He was in the middle of mucking out when two of the chimps became a bit over familiar and, in an attempt to get them away the man lashed out with his spade, killing two chimps. In his panic he decided to hide the evidence and fed the unfortunate chimpanzees to the lions because lions eat anything.

The zoo owner was pleased with the man’s work and as his final task for the day he asked him to collect honey from the zoo’s beehives. The man tried hard to do this without upsetting the bees, but some got angry and stung him. He grabbed his spade and whirled it above his head, squashing and killing several dozen bees. Plagued with guilt, he fed these to the lions as well because lions eat anything.

The next day, a new lion arrived at the zoo. He enquired of the existing residents "what’s the food like here?" One of the zoo’s resident lions said, "Oh, it’s great. Only yesterday we had fish, chimps and mushy bees!"

[OneBardGooner]