In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''
Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.
Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.
Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
