The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
- DB10GOONER
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The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
Mercurial talent, true leader, midfield dynamo, a man of the fans, Legend, footballing Jedi, member of Mensa, fearless warrior.... just some of the things Xhakatard has never been called, the poor precious little snowflake.
So to cheer him up and take his mind off all the "unfair" criticism he has received, let's give him his own caption competition. Winner gets a copy of Poppa Roddaz's new DVD "The wanksock, the whole wanksock, and nothing but the wanksock".
"Huh? Don't give it to me! What am I gonna do with it? Back to the keeper! Back to the keeper!"
So to cheer him up and take his mind off all the "unfair" criticism he has received, let's give him his own caption competition. Winner gets a copy of Poppa Roddaz's new DVD "The wanksock, the whole wanksock, and nothing but the wanksock".
"Huh? Don't give it to me! What am I gonna do with it? Back to the keeper! Back to the keeper!"
- GoonerMuzz
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
With no sense of irony he is telling Linda:
"My footballing ability stretches from here all the way over there!"
"My footballing ability stretches from here all the way over there!"
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
The opposition players that just went past me? They went that way!
- DB10GOONER
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- IW8Goalmachine
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- Location: Galway
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
What do you mean the ball is supposed to go that way?
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
"It was his fault, not mine"
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
" Mikel look how clever I am ,I have written down your instructions on my arm.The only trouble is I have to keep stopping every 30 seconds so I can look at them".
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''
Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.
Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.
Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
- DB10GOONER
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
Clash wrote: ↑Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 pm
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''
Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.
Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.
Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!
Pmsl here mate - quality stuff!
Guilty as charged m'lud.
Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
"Yeah yeah Lionel.........fuck off Cristiano............when the pair of you can point like this you know you've made it"
- OneBardGooner
- Posts: 43357
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Re: The Xhakatard Caption Competition!
I think we have a WINNER! superb Clash.Clash wrote: ↑Tue Mar 30, 2021 8:58 pm
In response to being asked by an officer to identify the man with the vendetta against him (a moderator on a leading Arsenal forum) Granit Xhaka picks him out of the crowd ''that's him, that's the man who keeps picking on me!''
Later in court:
Prosecution barrister: So Mr Xhaka you say you have been victimised by the accused for a number of years?
Xhaka: Yes
Prosecution barrister: Can you give some examples to the court?
Xhaka: I have been christened Xhakatard, clubfoot, called a crunt, a clown, been labelled as the worst player in the clubs history. Had a derogatory thread dedicated just to me. Even a caption competition based on a slur
Prosecution barrister: what kind of slur?
Xhaka: That I am only good at pointing
Prosecution barrister: I see. And tell us Mr Xhaka, have you or have you not made any attempt to befriend this man ?
Xhaka: I have
Prosecution barrister: Go on
Xhaka: I joined the forum where he is a moderator
Prosecution barrister: Oh really?
Xhaka: I signed up under the name WENGERS_HAT
Prosecution barrister: And how was you received?
Xhaka: I was banned after a day
Prosecution barrister: M'lud, ladies, gentleman and members of the jury, I think we need hear no more of this tale of spiteful, unmerited victimisation. I urge you to consider the gravest of punishments for this moderator for the pain and distress he has caused a talented and popular sportsman. I rest my case.
Defence barrister: My client has chosen not to speak but will instead present a montage of Mr Xhaka's on field exploits.
Just minutes into the video the Judge can look no more and gives his verdict: CASE DISMISSED!