Decisions Decisions

[DB10GOONER]

I have one for our resident No Mates Nazi - oops sorry, referee;

Will there ever be a boy born, who can swim faster than a shark?

[Nos89]

As a Senior County Official should you have any queries regarding the Laws of the Game or LOAF, please feel free to ask and I shall do my best to explain them, especially with the many changes that have occurred.

Please keep it clean, vulgar descriptive terms will not be tolerated....

Are you going to answer any of the queries that have been put on this thread?

[Allgunsblazin]

Alright then. If a handball can only be given if the act of handling was deliberate and a deliberate handball is a bookable offence, why isn't every handball a booking?

Deliberate handballs are a mandatory caution! and deliberation is the movement of the arm towards the ball which affects the trajectory of the ball, normally in and around the Penalty Area.

Other hand balls really come under ball to hand, where it can affect play, and the action was not deliberate, but is still a free kick.

Where an accidental handball occurs and does not affect any outcome, a simple play on is in order....

[Allgunsblazin]

If Siamese twins were selected for a team do they count as one player or two?

Two arms two legs and combined heads the size of Rooney's head is counted as one....

[Allgunsblazin]

What is the exact ruling on 70th minute substitutions?

The player being substituted in any minute of the game should leave the field of play before the substitute takes the field of play...Mandatory caution should the sub enter the FOP before the actual player leaves the FOP...
To ensure this goes to plan, the two players meet at the touch line, both make the sign of the cross and French kiss each other....

[Allgunsblazin]

How much wood, wood a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood ?

On a serious note, why is a goalkeeper allowed to bounce the ball ?

If he releases it, it is "in play" so theoretically he shouldn't be allowed to bounce it and pick it up again.

(Henry's goal when he knicked it before the keeper kicked it, was incorrectly ruled out)

I do remember that incident and to be honest the decision was incorrect and I shall try to explain why...

The Law as it stands is that once a Goalkeeper places the ball on the ground and touches the ball with his foot then the ball is in play and should the GK pick the ball up again (usually when the forward is bearing down on him) then play is stopped and an IFK is awarded to the forward.
Bit like a twice played ball...
So the GK can bounce the ball, but once he has played the ball (with feet), he cannot pick it up again...

[Allgunsblazin]

If Wilshere and Chambers have a fight and both get sent off when Bournemouth play Middleborough, does Wenger get fined and Arsenal deducted point for not controlling their players as they are still technically Arsenal players?

As they are Loanees they in effect represent the clubs they are loaned too and they will bear the cost/points.
So this should not affect Arsenal.
But as they would be banned for +3 games, the ban would apply on the individuals and they would not be allowed to play or coach football with ANY club at ANY level for that period...

[Allgunsblazin]

Did Bergkamp mean that goal at Newcastle?

Fucking life ban for Flash. Or Richard "Smash her, Hairy Hands" Keys as he's also known...

Need Yellow and Red Card Smilies Please....Especially for you know who....

[Allgunsblazin]

I have one for our resident No Mates Nazi - oops sorry, referee;

Will there ever be a boy born, who can swim faster than a shark?

Sieg Heil! Where's my ferkin red card yer heathen!.....

[Allgunsblazin]

As a Senior County Official should you have any queries regarding the Laws of the Game or LOAF, please feel free to ask and I shall do my best to explain them, especially with the many changes that have occurred.

Please keep it clean, vulgar descriptive terms will not be tolerated....

Are you going to answer any of the queries that have been put on this thread?

Yellow card for dissent!...
All done... .

[Rugby Gooner]

If you were travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on,would anything happen?

[robbo10]

If you were travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on,would anything happen?

[Allgunsblazin]

If you were travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on,would anything happen?

You'd probably end up in a shithole called Rugby where most trains travel through at the speed of light...

[Allgunsblazin]

If you were travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on,would anything happen?

[Rugby Gooner]

If you were travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on,would anything happen?

You'd probably end up in a shithole called Rugby where most trains travel through at the speed of light...

They don't travel at the speed of light mate, but the place has become a bit of a shithole.