It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
A man sits next 2 a guy with a dog on a plane & asks is he a guide dog? No I'm a drugs officer, he's a sniffer dog, watch this & says to the dog 'Search' The dog goes off, comes back & puts 1 paw on his lap. 'Heroin' the guy says & makes a note of the passenger. The dog comes back again & puts 2 paws on his lap. 'Coke' the guy says. The dog comes back again & shits all over the seat.
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin." The doctor said, "I'll have to wrap and put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he wrapped it took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided splint, held together with surgical wire. It was an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had ever seen them. She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts. " He pulls down his pants, whips out his splinted cock and says, "Look at this beauty, it's still in the FUCKING CRATE!"