New joke thread

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:34 pm

A voice in airplain notifies that a plane is going to crash, all pasangers please place your pasaports between your teeth, it will be easy to identify the bodys after the crash.

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:38 pm

A HOUSEBAND ON THE WAY HOME FROM MARKET, WAS THINKING THAT HE FORGOT SOMETHINK, HE STOPED THE CAR AND THINKED BUT COULDENT FIND WHAT HE FORGOT, WHEN HE ARRIVED AT HOME THE DOUGHTER WAS WAITING IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE AND ASKED HIM DAD WHERE IS MOM.

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:39 pm

WHAT ARE THW 21 TOOLS OF MASONER?

- 20 BEERS AND A NEWS PAPER.

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:44 pm

TWO PARTIZANS LONI AND TONI, DURING THE SECOND WORLD WAR WERE FIGHTING AGAINST SOME 60 OR 90 GERMANS, AND LONI ASKS TONI: HEY TONI WHATS THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD,
TONI I THE MIDLE OF FIGHT, PISED OFF ANSWERS I DONT KNOW SMELLS LIKE SHIT.
THAN LONI: ANSWERS LOOKS LIKE IM WOUNDED.

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:51 pm

HOW WAS THE COPPER SWIG CREATED?

TWO ALBANIANS WERE FIGHTING FOR A PENI.

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:57 pm

Man went to the doctors, with a severe flatulence problem.

Doc says " How can I help you?"

Man says, "I got a farting problem". Lets out a HUGE fart.

Doc says "How long have you had this problem?"

Man says "Not very long, but it seems to be getting worse." Lets out another HUGE fart.

Doc says "Have you tried changing your diet?"

Man says "Yes. I've tried all sorts, but I can't stop farting". Lets out another HUGE fart.

Doc says "I think I can help you."

Doc goes to a big cabinet, behind his desk. Opens the door. Comes out with a big, long pole. With a hook on the end of it.

Man says, nervously "What you gonna do with THAT!!!!!?".

Doc says, "I'm gonna open the fucking windows!".

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:01 pm

THREE COPS WENT TO A WHOREHOUSE. THEY ASK FOR A WHORE. THE OWNER EXPLPAINS 200 FOR BLONDE, 150 BRUNETE, AND 100 FOR A BLACK ONE. THE COPS ASK IF THERE IS ANYTHING FOR 50. THE OWNER REPLIES FOR 50 YOU CAN FUCK EACH OTHER. AFTER 30 MINUTES THEY CAM BACK TO THE OWNER AND ASK HIM WHO IS THE CASHIER.

burns718 · Post by **burns718** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:01 pm

KAQAK were u trying to make the worsts posts ever, my good those jokes are SHIT

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:08 pm

burns718 wrote:KAQAK were u trying to make the worsts posts ever, my good those jokes are SHIT

I would suggest that KAQAK's grip of English needs working on.

That joke is probably a classic in Poland, or wherever. It certainly lost something in translation.

Drone · Post by **Drone** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:26 pm

SORRY GUYS JUST TRY TO PUT SOMETHING FUNNY BUT DEFINITELY I NEED A GRIP.

RossieGooner · Post by **RossieGooner** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:48 pm

Doctor says to patient, "You are going to have to stop masturbating."

Man says, "Why Doctor?"

Doctor "Because I am trying to examine you..."

burns718 · Post by **burns718** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:53 pm

RossieGooner wrote:Doctor says to patient, "You are going to have to stop masturbating."

Man says, "Why Doctor?"

Doctor "Because I am trying to examine you..."

excellent

burns718 · Post by **burns718** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:54 pm

spurs win league

RossieGooner · Post by **RossieGooner** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:58 pm

RossieGooner wrote:Doctor says to patient, "You are going to have to stop masturbating."

Man says, "Why Doctor?"

Doctor "Because I am trying to examine you..."

Courtesy Kilkenny Cat Laughs Festival....

burns718 · Post by **burns718** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 12:13 am

not a joke but funny none the less

we had a lad at my work known as thrush, why i hear you ask, cos he was an iritating *word censored*

New joke thread

AIRPLANE CRASH

MOM

MASONER

BLLODS SMELL

COPPER SWIG

COPS