LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I no longer see my wife and children due to my gambling.

I won the jackpot and fucked off

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Last week I joined a nudist colony.

The first few days were the hardest...

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My friend who identifies as a fish has just committed suicide with a knife.

Gutted

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I've just been offered a job on minimum wage on a zero hour contract.

"Cool, " I said, "when don't I start? "

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I've just seen the latest photos of Daniella Westbrook with her new Boob Job and Blonde hairdo with the headline saying she looks... "just like Marilyn Monroe"

I think they forgot to add.."as she is now."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Trump will soon have a suit to match his skin.

And an arsehole to match his mouth.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

India lands on moon

Luna Cornershop now open

[Stuart L (2)]

We?d be speaking German if the Nazis used rubber dinghies.

Some good uns in there Lefty mate

[DB10GOONER]

I now identity as a donkey

My pronouns are he/haw

[DB10GOONER]

I just got stopped at a Police checkpoint in Belfast.

I gave them their names and addresses and they said "on your way"

Some superb ones there Lefty, but that one had me literally laugh out loud.

[OneBardGooner]

Nice One/s Lefty...

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I just got stopped at a Police checkpoint in Belfast.

I gave them their names and addresses and they said "on your way"

Some superb ones there Lefty, but that one had me literally laugh out loud.

Cheers mate, are they going on OUR whattsapp group, say hi to the guys for me

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Nice One/s Lefty...

Cheers mate

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

We?d be speaking German if the Nazis used rubber dinghies.

Some good uns in there Lefty mate

Cheers Stu 2

[Midz]

The Mrs and I were on holiday in Spain and after a few Vodkas and hours of persuasion she finally agreed to take it up the arse I was made up

There was no way I could get another 8 pouches of Golden Virginia in the suitcase