As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
The cramps in your stomach are dialed up to 10, you gingerly make your way to the porcelain throne, drops the keks, sit down and give a gentle little squeeze. You feel the movement of the log through your sphincter and it's a this point you know you are in massive fucking trouble. This thing is 2.5 times the size of your arsehole, the contractions have started and there's no going back.
Breath, push, squeeze, scream, push, breath, cry.
Liters of sweat begin to flow down your face, your eyes start to burn, you grab both sides of the seat to lift your arse up in the vain hope that gravity can help you give birth to this monstrosity. It's at the midway point, when it's girth is at it's greatest, that your life flashes before your eyes and you cry out, a chilling wail of anger, shame, terror and despair.
And then with the worst of it over, the final slither as it torpedoes into the bowl with a hefty splash. You sit there, head in hands, thankful just to have survived, legs trebling, heart pounding, arse still tremoring.
An experience you will never forget and hope to never repeat.
In other news Nicolas Pepe has left for Trabzonspor
I'll always remember him for the 2 free kicks in 1 game. He got called a flop which wasn't necessarily wrong, but compared to players like Sancho, Mudryk, Richarlison it seems quite harsh because he was never that bad. Mainly I'm glad we've cleared him from the wage bill. Wish him the best at the end of the day