LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish.

"I want to live forever" I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that".

"Fine" I said.

"I want to die when Tottenham win the premier league then".

"You crafty cunnt" said the fairy.

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

:coffeespit: :barscarf: :high5:


Nice One Lefty! :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind.

Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.'

Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

:coffeespit:





:coffeespit:





:coffeespit:

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TeeCee
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by TeeCee »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue May 07, 2024 8:05 pm
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind.

Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.'

Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
:lol: :lol: :lol:

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

The autocorrect on my phone hasn't got used to me yet.

It still thinks I like watching canal fishing videos.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My wife was reading Cosmopolitan magazine in bed last night and said to me, "It says here that most women get bored with their husband's sexual efforts after a few years of marriage."

"Really love?" I replied, as I continued to thrust away.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Going to watch a Scouse tribute band tonight...Took That

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I've just brought home a Barbie 'Domestic Violence' doll for my daughter.

Battery not included.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Manchester City are facing 115 charges by the FA. If found guilty, they'll be relegated so far down the tables they'll end up playing in the Scottish league.

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My wife called me a sex machine yesterday.

Actually she called me 'A fucking tool', but i know what she meant

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Midz
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by Midz »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2024 8:57 pm
Cosmopolitan magazine
:D :D

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2024 8:55 pm
The autocorrect on my phone hasn't got used to me yet.

It still thinks I like watching canal fishing videos.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:01 pm
Going to watch a Scouse tribute band tonight...Took That
:coffeespit: :coffeespit: :high5:

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