LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Following a sexist joke I made the other day, the Feminist Society now has my address.

Fortunately none of them can read a map!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

To avoid doubt I have this bumper sticker.

"My wife's driving is not terrorist related"

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Feminist picnic falls apart after nobody makes any sandwiches

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

All men are bastards!

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had.
He started counting but he fell asleep.

[mcdowell42]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

All men are bastards!

I posted this on FB a while back and then not long after FB deleted it saying it violated their rules on hate speech

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

All men are bastards!

I posted this on FB a while back and then not long after FB deleted it saying it violated their rules on hate speech

Well it's on my Facebook

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

All men are bastards!

I posted this on FB a while back and then not long after FB deleted it saying it violated their rules on hate speech

I've only had one message taken down and told it wasn't appropriate.

On our local town Facebook page some was asking for recommendations of a good Chinese restaurant.

I posted "I'd like to help but they all look the same to me"

[OneBardGooner]

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

All men are bastards!

I posted this on FB a while back and then not long after FB deleted it saying it violated their rules on hate speech

I've only had one message taken down and told it wasn't appropriate.

On our local town Facebook page some was asking for recommendations of a good Chinese restaurant.

I posted "I'd like to help but they all look the same to me"

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Rehab is for quitters.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.

She goes ballistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"

Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I had amnesia once - or twice.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I nearly talked my way out of a speeding fine earlier by telling this Police woman she looked bloody stunning

Then I went and fucked it up by saying, 'And that's not the drink talking either'

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.