As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
Ok - I'll start. I'm hoping to moderately offend all nationalities and religions here today so brace your fucking selves!! I say moderately because I don't want to get us shut down, so just a little offence intended, in a funny sort of way, ok PC bastardholes?? ok?
Just to ease us in (oo-er missus), I'll start with the Paddies and the Muslims;
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess then asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
The Muslim replied in disgust 'I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!'
Paddy handed his drink back & said 'Me too, I didn’t know we had a
choice!'
Top 5 Aussie chat up lines:
1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it in!
4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see myself in them!
5. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
Paddy the farmer is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
'Bejaysus!' he said, 'I didn’t even know they had feckin' mobile phones!'
Jock, the boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath
beach, was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which
Jock said 'Nay, I don’t think that’s her, she was nay that tall!'
DB10GOONER wrote:The Irish and farmers in general;
Paddy the farmer is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
'Bejaysus!' he said, 'I didn’t even know they had feckin' mobile phones!'
The English (with their reputation for "man love";
Two English couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours
of amazing sex Chas turns to Dave and says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on?'
DB10GOONER wrote:The English (with their reputation for "man love";
Two English couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours
of amazing sex Chas turns to Dave and says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on?'
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'It’s thick crunts like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the fuck out of you if I could swim!'
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Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy 'I’m
gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!'
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB!
I'M A LIGHTBULB!'
Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts 'Paddy - you're mad, go home' So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.
'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.
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Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like
Mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'I’ve put the dog in our garden, let’s see how they like it!'
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Murphy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses &
lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know what I want don’t you?'
'Yeah,' says Murphy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
Billy the Hillbilly calls American Airlines to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you, sir?'
Billy replies, 'Shee-it, woman. Ah duzzn’t know! It’s yer fuggin’ plane!!'
), two cockney’s, are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. 
