Official Weekly Joke Thread

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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I Hate Hleb
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Location: London

Post by I Hate Hleb »

Lads, I think you'll find that this is probably the best one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9oLfvkb ... re=related

Well, Kyle's Mom's a bitch, she's a big fat witch,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,
she's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch,
and Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch,
then on Sunday just to be different she's a
super King-ka maya-maya beotch!

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch,

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch, WHOOO!
Kyle's Mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch,
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a dirty Bitch. talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this! (imitates french) (imitates northern european language) (imitates yodeling) (imitates african language) Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch,

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch, WHOOO!
Kyle's Mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch,
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a dirty Bitch. I really mean it kyles mom: she's a big fat fucking bitch! YEAH big fat fucking bitch kyles mom, yeah! chow!


I love the way Cartman sings the ending ala a show tune. 8) :lol: :lol:

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Postman
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Post by Postman »

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome sagebrush prairie and with the pride for which these men were famous; it was a night of bravado, a night of tall tales..

Vern, the hand from Wyoming says, 'I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.'

Larry, from Colorado, couldn't stand to be bested.. That's nothing, 'I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot Diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn't even get a belly ache.'

Old Paul, the cowboy from Arizona , remained silent, slowly stirring the
campfire coals with his cock !

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DB10GOONER
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Location: Dublin, Ireland.
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Post by DB10GOONER »

I Hate Hleb wrote:Lads, I think you'll find that this is probably the best one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9oLfvkb ... re=related

Well, Kyle's Mom's a bitch, she's a big fat witch,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,
she's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch,
and Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch,
then on Sunday just to be different she's a
super King-ka maya-maya beotch!

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch,

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch, WHOOO!
Kyle's Mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch,
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a dirty Bitch. talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this! (imitates french) (imitates northern european language) (imitates yodeling) (imitates african language) Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
she's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch,

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
she's a stupid bitch, WHOOO!
Kyle's Mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch,
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a dirty Bitch. I really mean it kyles mom: she's a big fat fucking bitch! YEAH big fat fucking bitch kyles mom, yeah! chow!


I love the way Cartman sings the ending ala a show tune. 8) :lol: :lol:
While that is of top top quality, sir - particularly the show tune ending - I find the pathos in the "Uncle fucker" song carries the day by just a tad. 8)

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franksav63
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Post by franksav63 »

A 6ft 4in man in a toilet looks to his left and sees a little man peeing out of a huge penis.

He says ‘’That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen’’

The little man says ‘’Oh, I’m a leprechaun and we all have big ones’’

The tall man says ‘’I wish I had one like that’’

The leprechaun says ‘’I’ll grant you that wish if you let me bum you first’’

The man reluctantly agrees. The leprechaun pumps away for ages, then asks ‘’How old are you?’’

The man says ‘’36’’

‘’Imagine that, 36 and still believing in leprechauns’’

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I Hate Hleb
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Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 3:36 pm
Location: London

Post by I Hate Hleb »

Ladies and gentlemen - we have a winner!! 8)

The Circle of Poo.

Everything that lives on earth poos in some way
And thats how the cycle happens each and everyday
Just look at the green green grass and the birds up in the sky
Its all here because of poo and now ill tell you why

Grass is eaten by the cattle
Which is eaten by women and men
Defuses with their body, and becomes poo again
And that poo goes through the sewer
which is tucked into the sea
and its eaten by the plankton which becomes the fishes me
We got bigger fish with the poo still inside
Swims up near the shore and gets eaten alive
By a grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand
So that it can spring to the life and become poo for the land!

Its the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe
Which crawls up to the earth, and becomes the blades of grass
The grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end
To make poo for the humans, and start all over again.

Mr: Hankey You see son? Youre not an insignificate part of life!
You are life!
Cornwallis: But how can I be that blade of grass? Or a human?
I dont control what they do
Mr. Hankey: Just like your heart beets without u thinking about it.
So do your giraffes and humans do what they do. Without you even
thinking about it! But it is all one life form. It is all you.
Cornwallis: I think I see now (deep singinge voice)
Im the poo of the antelope, that flows onto the ground
Mr. Hankey: Which becomes the grass of tomorrow
Cornwallis: Yea
Mr. Hankey: Which the critters turn around
Cornwallis: And I'm the leg of a leopard. And the wings of a hen.
Both: Which becomes the inner part of humans, and turn back to
poo again. Thats the circle, the circle of poooooooooooo.



Now that's what you call good shit!! :oops: :lol: :lol: :wink:

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DB10GOONER
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Location: Dublin, Ireland.
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Post by DB10GOONER »

franksav63 wrote:A 6ft 4in man in a toilet looks to his left and sees a little man peeing out of a huge penis.

He says ‘’That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen’’

The little man says ‘’Oh, I’m a leprechaun and we all have big ones’’

The tall man says ‘’I wish I had one like that’’

The leprechaun says ‘’I’ll grant you that wish if you let me bum you first’’

The man reluctantly agrees. The leprechaun pumps away for ages, then asks ‘’How old are you?’’

The man says ‘’36’’

‘’Imagine that, 36 and still believing in leprechauns’’
That's not a joke!! That is how Gus/Percy met Rebel!!! :shock: :lol:

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franksav63
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Post by franksav63 »

DB10GOONER wrote:
franksav63 wrote:A 6ft 4in man in a toilet looks to his left and sees a little man peeing out of a huge penis.

He says ‘’That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen’’

The little man says ‘’Oh, I’m a leprechaun and we all have big ones’’

The tall man says ‘’I wish I had one like that’’

The leprechaun says ‘’I’ll grant you that wish if you let me bum you first’’

The man reluctantly agrees. The leprechaun pumps away for ages, then asks ‘’How old are you?’’

The man says ‘’36’’

‘’Imagine that, 36 and still believing in leprechauns’’
That's not a joke!! That is how Gus/Percy met Rebel!!! :shock: :lol:
I thought I had heard that one before... :lol:

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