It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.
I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider
My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge
corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.
I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider
My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge
Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)
corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.
I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider
My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge
Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)
Ah yes... the poof's solution, Frank...
Barry, you should get a can of the missus's (in Percy/Gus's case, his own) hairspray light the fucker up and show that fly what a napalm strike was like back in the Nam dude...
Whhoooooosshhhh! Burn you dink muthafucka!! That's for my best buddies - Doc, 8-ball and Boonieman!
corkbarry wrote:I was sitting in my conservatory perusing (posh word for reading) my Argos catalogue when i heard Geraldine screaming my name from the Hall.
I ran out to see what was wrong, she was pointing at the Biggest Spider in the Universe. This thing was so menacing that a Bull Mastiff would hesitate to attack.
I looked at him and he looked at me, but i was the first to break eye contact. Then i had a Brainwave( no jokes about Irishman's Brains please I straddled him carefully,took aim and dropped the Argos catalogue dead centre BANG on him. The result,one very messy Spider
My hope now is that his relations wont come looking for revenge
Barry, all you need is a glass and a plate, place the glass over the spider and then put the plate underneath it, you then throw it in the garden, (obviously keeping hold of the glass and the plate, and losing the spider)
Ah yes... the poof's solution, Frank...
Barry, you should get a can of the missus's (in Percy/Gus's case, his own) hairspray light the fucker up and show that fly what a napalm strike was like back in the Nam dude...
Whhoooooosshhhh! Burn you dink muthafucka!! That's for my best buddies - Doc, 8-ball and Boonieman!
Hmmm, now you put it like that, it does read a bit gay to be fair...
