Joke time

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
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Eboue-Why?
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Post by Eboue-Why? »

mrgnu1958 wrote::shock: :shock: :shock: oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh :shock: :shock:
btw..is that sheena easton?
My baby takes the morning train....... :wink:

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g88ner
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Post by g88ner »

DB10GOONER wrote:Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

:-P
Brilliant! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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DB10GOONER
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Post by DB10GOONER »

merson_is_god wrote:Must be hard being a Mod checking all the posts on here to check there is nothing politically incorrect or incinuating anything on here... :shock:
haha - one thing we do NOT entertain is political correctness. You pommy poof. :lol: :wink:

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merson_is_god
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Post by merson_is_god »

DB10GOONER wrote:
merson_is_god wrote:Must be hard being a Mod checking all the posts on here to check there is nothing politically incorrect or incinuating anything on here... :shock:
haha - one thing we do NOT entertain is political correctness. You pommy poof. :lol: :wink:

Pommy poof- I'm appalled and offended!!

MegaGooner
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Post by MegaGooner »

RaM wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
merson_is_god wrote:Whats wrong with sleeping with thirty six year olds?














There's thirty of them!
Usual thing here. I have a VERY broad sense of humour but if anyone finds this joke offensive PM me and I'll delete it. Must admit it's in pretty poor taste...
One of those jokes where you don't know if you should laugh or be serious so you just laugh kind of awkardly and stare at the ground. :lol:

Weirdest set of jokes I ever heard were on a train home in the early hour of the morning a couple of years ago. Older guy was drunk out of his mind and had an endless supply of "dead baby" jokes. I can't remember too many now but they were pretty strange...


I didn't want to rush into a decision on this but it offended me from the first time I saw it. I don't believe anyone likes to be called a peado on a message board OR in public. I personally wouldn't like it, then just leaving offensive "jokes" like these, which seems to justify this lifestyle, let fly under the radar just doesn't cut it for me.

I think m_i_g(I might be mistaken) was one of the first to chastise emma_bryne when he was on a wind up but showed "girl f**king horse on his IE. I don't approve of this either, but being a consenting adult, she can f@ck whatever she wants too.

I can't believe anyone with kids didn't find this joke disturbing/offensive, as these kids are normally abused without taking into concideration their feelings.

PS:M_i_g. I acknowledge your apology

MM99
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Post by MM99 »

RaM wrote:
DB10GOONER wrote:
merson_is_god wrote:Whats wrong with sleeping with thirty six year olds?













There's thirty of them!
Usual thing here. I have a VERY broad sense of humour but if anyone finds this joke offensive PM me and I'll delete it. Must admit it's in pretty poor taste...
One of those jokes where you don't know if you should laugh or be serious so you just laugh kind of awkardly and stare at the ground. :lol:

Weirdest set of jokes I ever heard were on a train home in the early hour of the morning a couple of years ago. Older guy was drunk out of his mind and had an endless supply of "dead baby" jokes. I can't remember too many now but they were pretty strange...

You'll like this one then: BTW if you are offended by dead baby jokes then please look away now!






What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bag full of dead babies?



You won't find a Mercedes in my garage!

RoscommonGooner
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Post by RoscommonGooner »

Too soon..........?

If so I'll apologise now.


The England squad went to an African orphanage this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of those with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible."

Said Jamai Umboto, aged 6 :D

Sorry again :wink:

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RaM
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Post by RaM »

RoscommonGooner wrote:Too soon..........?

If so I'll apologise now.


The England squad went to an African orphanage this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of those with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible."

Said Jamai Umboto, aged 6 :D

Sorry again :wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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RaM
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Post by RaM »

You'll like this one then: BTW if you are offended by dead baby jokes then please look away now!






What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bag full of dead babies?



You won't find a Mercedes in my garage!
That could easily have been one of the ones that guy told, I just can't remember it! :lol:


One of them was definitely:

"What sits in a corner getting shorter and shorter? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler." :shock: :oops:

The other I remember is probably not worthy of posting...wouldn't want to call offense...

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brazilianGOONER
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Post by brazilianGOONER »

RoscommonGooner wrote:Too soon..........?

If so I'll apologise now.


The England squad went to an African orphanage this morning. "It's good to put a smile on the faces of those with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible."

Said Jamai Umboto, aged 6 :D

Sorry again :wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Connolly55
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Post by Connolly55 »

Its a shame that nearly half the pages are argueing and not jokes as some of them are pretty funny.

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