weekend jokes

mcdowell42 · Post by **mcdowell42** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:26 pm

I bumped into Sian Massey in the street today. I said, "Are you aware of the uproar caused after you officiated at the Liverpool v Wolves game? I mean, two Sky Sports pundits were..."

"Yeah yeah," she interrupted. "Tell me something I don't know."

So I explained the offside rule.

mcdowell42 · Post by **mcdowell42** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:28 pm

I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.

One guy pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."

The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."

A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."

mcdowell42 · Post by **mcdowell42** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:33 pm

Gary Nevilles 1st game working for Sky. "Liverpool were a disgrace, they tried to intimidate the ref and kicked Drogba all over the pitch.
They're slow at the back and weak up front, Gerrards past it and should have been sent off"
MARTIN TYLER; Fair comment Gary but this is Spurs v Stoke!

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop wanking.
I asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

MegaGooner · Post by **MegaGooner** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:48 pm

mcdowell42 wrote:I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She told me that I have to stop wanking.
I asked, "Why?"
She replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

u2bagooner · Post by **u2bagooner** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:03 pm

Arsenal