Wet Miserable Tuesday Joke Thread

goonersid · Post by **goonersid** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:10 am

Two couples on holiday and husbands Mike and Dave decide to try and get their ladies wife swap. Amazingly they agree, but Mike knows his wife is on the rag, so he has got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast, they will tap a spoon on the table however many time they shagged the others missus. Next morning Mike grins and taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles and taps once on the jam and three times on the nutella.

Two catholic priests are at a bucking bronco contest, they decide to have a go. The first priest lasts five seconds before falling off, the second lasts five minutes, â€œhow on earth did you manage that?â€

RoscommonGooner · Post by **RoscommonGooner** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:31 am

What have Stoke City supporters and butter got in common?

They're both inbred

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:40 am

[quote="goonersid"]Two couples on holiday and husbands Mike and Dave decide to try and get their ladies wife swap. Amazingly they agree, but Mike knows his wife is on the rag, so he has got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast, they will tap a spoon on the table however many time they shagged the others missus. Next morning Mike grins and taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles and taps once on the jam and three times on the nutella.

Two catholic priests are at a bucking bronco contest, they decide to have a go. The first priest lasts five seconds before falling off, the second lasts five minutes, â€œhow on earth did you manage that?â€

Post by **flash gunner** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:42 am

RoscommonGooner wrote:What have Stoke City supporters and butter got in common?

They're both inbred

True too

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:50 am

flash gunner wrote:
RoscommonGooner wrote:What have Stoke City supporters and butter got in common?

They're both inbred
True too

Awww fuckk my sides are hurttinggg flash ya twat youreally made me spit me tea everywhere...Now I'm gonna have to change before going to work....

FUNNIEST THING EVER ON HERE!..well besides one or two poster's

Post by **flash gunner** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:03 am

OneBardGooner wrote:
flash gunner wrote:
RoscommonGooner wrote:What have Stoke City supporters and butter got in common?

They're both inbred
True too

Awww fuckk my sides are hurttinggg flash ya twat youreally made me spit me tea everywhere...Now I'm gonna have to change before going to work....

TheCook · Post by **TheCook** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:02 am

I HATE HLEB said to his barber 'I want my hair cut like Tom Cruise'

So the barber gave him a big cushion to sit on.

I am aware there is a running joke about one of the mods being a proper shortarse, but as I'm not in the clique, I'm unsure as to which one. Feel free to edit the above for the purposes of this joke.

arseofacrow · Post by **arseofacrow** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:02 am

Paddy is talking to his mate Billy in the pub.

He says, "I'm so focking tired these past few weeks".

"Why's that then?", says Billy.

"Because the guy next door's got a new dog and for the last 2 weeks it's been out in the back garden every focking night barking it's head off! But you know what, I'm gonna do something about it", replies Paddy.

"What you going to do then Paddy?", asks Billy

"I'm going to steal his dog and stick it in my back garden - See how he likes it!"

TeeCee · Post by **TeeCee** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:11 pm

This is brilliant!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtS2Ikk7 ... ata_player

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:31 pm

TheCook wrote:I said to my barber 'I want my hair cut like Tom Cruise'

So he gave me a big cushion to sit on.

I am aware there is a running joke about one of the mods being a proper shortarse, but as I'm not in the clique, I'm unsure as to which one. Feel free to edit the above for the purposes of this joke.

That'll be Spudmasher.

zero 6 · Post by **zero 6** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 6:08 pm

Last week Wayne Rooney was described as the White Pele...this week Fernando Torres is being described as the White Heskey

Arsenal entertain League 2 side Shrewsbury Town in the Carling Cup tonight, I sense an upset on the cards,Arsenal to win 2-1

MickeyFabs · Post by **MickeyFabs** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:55 pm

A priest is driving down the road when he comes across a dead pig lying in the road. He contacts the police to inform them of his find.

The cocky desk sergeant laughed and said "did you give it the last rights".

"No" said the priest "I thought I would I'd inform his next of kin First!"

goonersid · Post by **goonersid** » Wed Oct 12, 2011 12:44 pm

There are reports Paul Mc Cartney has already fallen out with his new wife, it seems she is spending twice as much on shoes as the last one.

Rugby Gooner · Post by **Rugby Gooner** » Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:14 pm

Chavski fans are up in arms about the clubs possible move from Stamford Bridge,one has apparently been quoted as saying,"It's a disgrace,you can't just Bulldoze eight years of history just like that!!!"

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:23 am

I was watching Sky news with the sound turned down last night I cant believe Fatima Whitbread has been shot dead in Libya

Wet Miserable Tuesday Joke Thread

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