I've lost a boss and a colleague to suicide. And whenever I visit my mum's grave I drive past the grave of a guy I grew up with who is now "at peace".
They all had families. Wife, young kids. And knowing in some cases what their personal problems were doesn't help in any way to understanding why.....
RIP Gary Speed. Thoughts with your family. And I pray that the media now back off and give them the chance to grieve in private.
RIP Gary Speed
It's difficult to get behind the rest in peace sentiments.
A tragic loss and I couldn't even imagine to wonder what has driven him to it, but one headline has stuck with me today and I can't shake it.
He leaves behind 2 children, 14 and 13 year old boys. Leaves them behind to face the rest of their lives alone.
Fathers don't do that, they are there to protect and teach their children through their own lives.
Gary Speed may be at peace right now but those boys have got a lot of years to live knowing what he has done and how he has left them.
It is really difficult to put all my thoughts in order but in my life family is first and foremost.
I can't believe he's done what he's done, no matter what the reasoning behind it.
A tragic loss and I couldn't even imagine to wonder what has driven him to it, but one headline has stuck with me today and I can't shake it.
He leaves behind 2 children, 14 and 13 year old boys. Leaves them behind to face the rest of their lives alone.
Fathers don't do that, they are there to protect and teach their children through their own lives.
Gary Speed may be at peace right now but those boys have got a lot of years to live knowing what he has done and how he has left them.
It is really difficult to put all my thoughts in order but in my life family is first and foremost.
I can't believe he's done what he's done, no matter what the reasoning behind it.
Clinical depression would mean he didn't even give a thought to the consequences beyond himself, that is the nature of the disease, hence the speculation that it was depression as it's difficult to see how a loving father and husband could 'leave' the family to go through this. Of course it may be that his wife was about to leave him and take the kids, we will probably never know. I just hope the papers do leave alone.
DEPRESSION
I can see what No5 is saying and I have had similar thoughts with it .
On the face of things he had everything to live for............makes you wonder if there is anything more to this than meets the eye......like he was about to be outed about something ???
Depression is a killer though !
On the face of things he had everything to live for............makes you wonder if there is anything more to this than meets the eye......like he was about to be outed about something ???
Depression is a killer though !
TeeCee wrote:Clinical depression would mean he didn't even give a thought to the consequences beyond himself, that is the nature of the disease, hence the speculation that it was depression as it's difficult to see how a loving father and husband could 'leave' the family to go through this. Of course it may be that his wife was about to leave him and take the kids, we will probably never know. I just hope the papers do leave alone.
I did wonder how he was found hanged in his bedroom just after 7am - where was his wife when he was doing this ?
It takes more than a few minutes to set something like this up so it might suggest seperate bedrooms ? We all say that it is best not to speculate but yet we all find ourselves doing that very thing - I guess, at least on my part, I found it such a shock and hard to comprehend that you just clutch for a reason, any reason, that might explain why he did it 
I have to say that I agree totally with what Number 5 has said - I know people say that depression is an awful thing (if it was depression) but I still dont know if it is an acceptable reason to do what he did especially leaving two young kids behind
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flash gunner
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Good post but its hard not to feel any sympathy for someone who feels that topping themselves is the ONLY answer, you must be in some shit place to do something like that. Prayers are with his family especially his boysNumber 5 wrote:It's difficult to get behind the rest in peace sentiments.
A tragic loss and I couldn't even imagine to wonder what has driven him to it, but one headline has stuck with me today and I can't shake it.
He leaves behind 2 children, 14 and 13 year old boys. Leaves them behind to face the rest of their lives alone.
Fathers don't do that, they are there to protect and teach their children through their own lives.
Gary Speed may be at peace right now but those boys have got a lot of years to live knowing what he has done and how he has left them.
It is really difficult to put all my thoughts in order but in my life family is first and foremost.
I can't believe he's done what he's done, no matter what the reasoning behind it.
excellent point. by all accounts (from people who knew him best) gary speed was an exceptional individual but what is often forgotten is that it can be extremely lonely at the very top and in the end "no man is an island"flash gunner wrote:Good post but its hard not to feel any sympathy for someone who feels that topping themselves is the ONLY answer, you must be in some shit place to do something like that. Prayers are with his family especially his boysNumber 5 wrote:It's difficult to get behind the rest in peace sentiments.
A tragic loss and I couldn't even imagine to wonder what has driven him to it, but one headline has stuck with me today and I can't shake it.
He leaves behind 2 children, 14 and 13 year old boys. Leaves them behind to face the rest of their lives alone.
Fathers don't do that, they are there to protect and teach their children through their own lives.
Gary Speed may be at peace right now but those boys have got a lot of years to live knowing what he has done and how he has left them.
It is really difficult to put all my thoughts in order but in my life family is first and foremost.
I can't believe he's done what he's done, no matter what the reasoning behind it.
aside from his wife, kids and immediate family, those who will be troubled most right now are the people he should have been able to go to in his moment of need.
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brazilianGOONER
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fucking hell, just heard about it. RIP mr speed.
and if I was his family, and it's them we should be thinking about now, I'd want absolutely nothing being discussed around other than what a great person and top footballer and manager he was. any other discussion or speculation about his death is pointless now and a huge disrespect to those close to him imo.
fucking hell, this is the sort of happening that makes you put some stuff under another perspective at times
and if I was his family, and it's them we should be thinking about now, I'd want absolutely nothing being discussed around other than what a great person and top footballer and manager he was. any other discussion or speculation about his death is pointless now and a huge disrespect to those close to him imo.
fucking hell, this is the sort of happening that makes you put some stuff under another perspective at times
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hugh jardon
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QuartzGooner
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The crux is that if it was depression, then can anyone know if reason and logic are part of the depressive's thoughts when doing such a thing?augie wrote: I know people say that depression is an awful thing (if it was depression) but I still dont know if it is an acceptable reason to do what he did especially leaving two young kids behind
You have to imagine that his entire view of life and what it means, would be irrational, in the moments leading up to what he did.
(Certainly a look at Collymore's article suggest that the mind becomes unreasonable and illogical during depression.)
He would be in such a dark place he would feel beyond hope.
Which is a terrible thing, and why friendship and qualified medical help are so vital.
FFS Augie. Maybe he snored? Maybe they had a row the night before? maybe they did sleep in separate beds (I know plenty of slightly older couples who do!). Do we really have a right to know though and is it really fair to speculate??augie wrote:I did wonder how he was found hanged in his bedroom just after 7am - where was his wife when he was doing this ?
"Acceptable reason".....? Do you not think that he must have been in some desperately bad place to contemplate doing what he did.augie wrote: I have to say that I agree totally with what Number 5 has said - I know people say that depression is an awful thing (if it was depression) but I still dont know if it is an acceptable reason to do what he did especially leaving two young kids behind
Who knows what goes on in someones mind to make them react in that way when someone else can seemingly take it in their stride. But I think it's an oversimplification to imply that he should have thought of them first and got a grip. He probably thought that doing what he did would be better for them. How desperate is that
??