LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[Top Londoner]

Lefty.

Your jokes are a good reason for carrying on pal. Fucking classic's.

Cheers me ol' son.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Lefty.

Your jokes are a good reason for carrying on pal. Fucking classic's.

Cheers me ol' son.

Cheers Mr Tops, although today I have been to a funeral of a member of family who died at 40 and she herself was ver y witty and lovely so god bless her.

Even after all the tears my sisters and family managed to cheer people up, we are a very caring close family but see laughter as the best cure.

You should meet up with a few of us, you will soon forget you ever smoked

Anyhow, god bless Kim.

Life's is so short so just embrace it, grab it by the bollox and enjoy the ride!

[g88ner]

Lefty.

Your jokes are a good reason for carrying on pal. Fucking classic's.

Cheers me ol' son.

Cheers Mr Tops, although today I have been to a funeral of a member of family who died at 40 and she herself was ver y witty and lovely so god bless her.

Even after all the tears my sisters and family managed to cheer people up, we are a very caring close family but see laughter as the best cure.

You should meet up with a few of us, you will soon forget you ever smoked

Anyhow, god bless Kim.

Life's is so short so just embrace it, grab it by the bollox and enjoy the ride!

You've gained a reputation on here now, Lefty. I was reading what you said about going to a family funeral, and all the way through I was waiting for the punchline

Anyway, keep up the good work

[Top Londoner]

Lefty.

Your jokes are a good reason for carrying on pal. Fucking classic's.

Cheers me ol' son.

Cheers Mr Tops, although today I have been to a funeral of a member of family who died at 40 and she herself was ver y witty and lovely so god bless her.

Even after all the tears my sisters and family managed to cheer people up, we are a very caring close family but see laughter as the best cure.

You should meet up with a few of us, you will soon forget you ever smoked

Anyhow, god bless Kim.

Life's is so short so just embrace it, grab it by the bollox and enjoy the ride!

Cheers son. I have to admit that reading the first sentence, I began to gut laugh as I thought it was gonna be another joke.

My condolences mate. Funerals are shite but I always rejoice because I showed the deceased how I cared for them during life. I have no regrets about a cared one passing, simply because of that reason.

Best wishes pal.It puts shit into perspective huh

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Gooner and Mr Tops, as I was writing it I thought "they're gonna think this is a joke

My fault I guess, but if I am a very flippant individual so was already laughing, cheers guys and as it is Friday tomorrow I shall endeavour to bring you guys a smile or two

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

What is the medical term for the fatty tissue, surrounding the clitoris?

The wife.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

wifesnipers.com

We aim to please.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My wife's face: Putting the 'late' into ejaculate.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I can look at porn online until the cow comes home.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

My wife left me because of my obsession with football.
Only on loan though, she'll be back for pre-season.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I've never met a woman yet who doesn't want to have sex with me, given the right dosage.

[arseofacrow]

oh dear lefty

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Roberto Di Matteo has been sacked by Chelsea.

Apparently, the decision was made after the team's failure to win Wimbledon and the Grand National, or to bring home any Gold medals from the Olympics.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

oh dear lefty

Every c unt is a critic.....or is that the other way round

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mum's bedroom.

I can't believe it..

She's a superhero!