How to waste time at work?

[skizz_b]

we've got a pretty sweet disabled toilet too - for some reason, it's at the top of a staircase

LMAOOOOOO this thread is thread of the year 100%

[Rosie_titters]

I just walk around the office, with a few A4 pieces of paper in my hand, so if the bosses see me, they think i am busy i then go and chat to fellow workers about the football, weekend and woman, the old toilet break is a good one, go in the cubicle and sit there for about 20 mins browsing the net on your phone, also i have found having about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day helps, especially if you fill the kettle to the top with cold water

in my old job, i was lucky to be the office manager, god knows how many fake meetings, going to the printers or going to the bank excuses i made just to get out the office, and then just either go back home, drive around town or do some shopping

[Dan_85]

having about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day helps, especially if you fill the kettle to the top with cold water

Just did this one. Excellent, took about 30 fucking minutes to boil

[shu]

I just walk around the office, with a few A4 pieces of paper in my hand, so if the bosses see me, they think i am busy i then go and chat to fellow workers about the football, weekend and woman, the old toilet break is a good one, go in the cubicle and sit there for about 20 mins browsing the net on your phone, also i have found having about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day helps, especially if you fill the kettle to the top with cold water

in my old job, i was lucky to be the office manager, god knows how many fake meetings, going to the printers or going to the bank excuses i made just to get out the office, and then just either go back home, drive around town or do some shopping

If you choke your chicken too much it might fall off !!!!!!

[skizz_b]

having about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day helps, especially if you fill the kettle to the top with cold water

Just did this one. Excellent, took about 30 fucking minutes to boil

We have a bloody coffee machine

[DB10GOONER]

having about 6 or 7 cups of coffee a day helps, especially if you fill the kettle to the top with cold water

Just did this one. Excellent, took about 30 fucking minutes to boil

Fantastic.

Next time leave the plug out too.

[olgitgooner]

Do more work you lazy fuckers!

If you were self employed you wouldn't do it. In your spare time you'd find ways to improve efficiency. You'd spend time working out how to attract more business to your company. You would spend every minute trying to be successful. You would have a proper work ethic. Same as they have in China and Japan.

I work my bollocks off every day. Even though I am no longer self employed.

In those spare moments between tasks I have an official order form on my desk. I check costs and quality as I am filling it in.

The official order form is conveniently placed just above my favourite cryptic crossword.

[Henry Norris 1913]

isn't there a tit thread you should be bumping?

[olgitgooner]

Good idea Henry

[cardinal2011]

Years ago I used to work with a lad who used to get up from his desk and announce to the team "right, i'm off for a tommy tank!". He would then disappear in the bogs for about 20 minutes. Everyone thought he was a right card until on a works do when he got pissed and confirmed that he did really partake in a bit of python wrestling at work.

[flash gunner]

"Python wrestling"

[OneBardGooner]

Sorry Mods & Gooners - Off Topic I know, but what with all the transfer madness, I wanted as many people to see this as possible:

Tomorrow, MPs start debating the gagging law. [1] The government wants to rush it through parliament. [2] Our best hope of stopping them is to make sure MPs realise just what a dodgy law they are being asked to vote for. Please can you email your MP now and help build the pressure?

If passed, the gagging law would have a chilling effect on our democracy. From May 2014, draconian new rules would prevent non-politicians from speaking up on the big issues of the day. A huge range of campaign groups and charities – everyone from The Royal British Legion, to Oxfam, to the RSPB - are warning about the threat this poses. [3]

MPs need to know we won't stand for this – so please take a minute to email yours before Tuesday's debate:
https://secure.38degrees.org.uk/gagging-bill-MPs

It’s telling that so many groups who wouldn't normally agree with each other have united to oppose the gagging law. Groups that speak out in favour of hunting, windfarms, HS2 or building more houses are joining together with groups who say exactly the opposite. [4]

That’s because there’s one thing we should all be able to agree on: in a healthy democracy, everyone should able to express their views. And everyone should be allowed to get organised to highlight what politicians are saying and doing on the issues that matter to them.

Politics is too important to leave to political parties. When we speak up about decisions that affect us and the future of our country, we can often change things for the better. Are politicians really so arrogant as to think the UK would be better off if all these groups were blocked from campaigning?

Let’s come together quickly and tell MPs that this gagging law must not be passed. The first vote is on Tuesday, so please email your MP now:
https://secure.38degrees.org.uk/gagging-bill-MPs