The Cricket Thread

[officepest]

Smith adds to his 200 from the first innings with a quick-fire 50 before Ali strikes again, clean bowling him for 58. Aus have promoted Mitchell Marsh so it looks like the declaration is in the post.

Aus 210 - 2.

[officepest]

Aus have declared with a lead of 508. Clarke finished on 32 and Marsh 27.

Barring a total collapse of early 90s proportions, Nut Flush Gooner will get to see some play tomorrow; by which I mean a total collapse of early 90s proportions that is.

England need 509 to win.

[officepest]

England make it to lunch without losing a wicket, what are the odds eh?

The score is......totally irrelevant actually.

[officepest]

The gormless Lyth is out for 7.

England have as much hope of drawing this as I have of being blown by Margot Robbie.

Ballance is in next, and he'll need to stick around until close of play. He won't.

[officepest]

Cook's gone for 11.

England have as much haope of saving this match as the Titanic did of staying afloat.

[officepest]

Gary "Stevie Wonder" Ballance goes for a skittish 14 caught behind off the bowling of Marsh.

Root in next and England have as much hope..........

[officepest]

Oh dear.............Bell's gone for 11.

Lyon dismisses Bell again. Lyon sends one down and Bell bat/pads it into the hands of the sub fielder.

What a dismal end to a wonderful England career; 22 hundreds but he looks like his eyes have gone now.

England are 48 - 4 and Stokes is the next poor fucker in.

Nut Flush: I hope you have alternate plans for tomorrow.

[officepest]

This is turning into a fucking comedy now.

Stokes is run out via a direct hit on the stumps from Johnson; the stupid *word censored* has his bat in the air and is gone.

What a dickhead.

53 – 5.

[arseofacrow]

The Aussies are turning the screw. A nothing pitch and look what they've done!

You've got to hand it to them, they're always willing to come back and fight hard.

[Leyton Gooner]

This is so gutless I'm starting to think Wenger has taken over as England coach

[nut flush gooner]

What utter bollocks. Haven't got a clue what Adam Lyth is doing in the side, he's hopelessly out of his depth.

I now don't care about tomorrow, not bothering and hope that England now lose the remaining wickets tonight. For the MCC to keep the gate receipts of tomorrows play, with it being a sell out would be daylight robbery

[officepest]

The first ball after tea and it’s………….another wicket.

England’s comical innings continues to disintegrate as Johnson catches Buttler’s edge and sends it into the keeper’s grateful gloves.

England are six down.

[officepest]

And another!

Moeen Ali sends a simple catch to short leg. It’s yet another awful, dismal dismissal.

We’re collapsing like so many French soldiers.

[officepest]

Broad’s gone for 25 (he’s England’s top scorer ).

England 101 – 8.

[officepest]

Hazlewood bowls Root for 17.

England 101 - 9.