This week's joke thread...

Post by **SPUDMASHER** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:23 pm

well I did warn ya

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:35 pm

SPUDMASHER wrote:I'll pm it to you so as not to offend anyone else.

Guess you better PM it to my sick ass too!!

My Left Foot · Post by **My Left Foot** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:17 pm

Can I have it too please?

tomkingsbury · Post by **tomkingsbury** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:25 pm

u disgusting freaks - i didnt think it was that bad, thought the sister/brother/father thing was worse!!

tomkingsbury · Post by **tomkingsbury** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:26 pm

My Left Foot wrote:Can I have it too please?

only if u pay for it

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:27 pm

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? Cowboy hats are for ass holes.

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:29 pm

A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile. The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."

So, he gets a cup of coffee. Then he sees that the guy next to him has finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full. He says, "Are you going to eat that?"

The other guy says, "No. You can have it."

The guy takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, he sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:31 pm

greatgooner wrote:A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile. The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."

So, he gets a cup of coffee. Then he sees that the guy next to him has finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full. He says, "Are you going to eat that?"

The other guy says, "No. You can have it."

The guy takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, he sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes the chili back into the bowl.

The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

Haha!

Quality.

And welcome onboard GG!

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:38 pm

THE LIFE OF AN EGG
==================
So you think your life is bad?
Just think how bad the life of the egg is....
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard, 2 minutes to get soft.
You have to share a box with 11 other guys.
And the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother!

Thanks for the welcome, I have been reading the forum and Gooner mag for what seems like years but never had the courage to join in until now

Sorry I work with a guy who sends me fifty odd so jokes a day

Does my nut in!!!!!!!!!

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:47 pm

Guy says to his wife, "I bought some flavoured condoms today. All different flavours. I'll turn the light out, put one on, then you can give me a BJ and try to guess the flavour".

Light goes off, they get in bed, wife begins the BJ and says "It's cheese and onion!"

Guy says, "I haven't put it on, yet!"

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:49 pm

Why do hippos do their romancing underwater?
You know how hard it is to keep a five-hundred pound fanny wet?

SWLGooner · Post by **SWLGooner** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 7:25 pm

PM me Spuddy too.

pixie · Post by **pixie** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:16 pm

SWLGooner wrote:PM me Spuddy too.

I don`t think you are old enough for that joke!

ds · Post by ds » Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:38 pm

fluffy fluff puss is a good joke

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:54 pm

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"

Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him,ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?"

Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes." The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.

Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"

The Pope replies,"Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska." The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"

The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"

To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!"

The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"

To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah..... are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?"

The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling, "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin!"