Have you ever shagged a BIG bird

dbrien · Post by **dbrien** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:17 pm

Radford149 wrote:come on boys lets hear your stories, you've all done one

well I was reasonably drunk and stuck with one at a party, but the problem is they always want to get food involved. She smeared by body with a Fray Bentos pie (steak and Kidney), licked it all of then fell asleep. Actually she wasnt that fat, I'd say she was a stone and a half over her fighting weight and as the saying goes, 'I would rather fuck her than fight her'

Radford149 · Post by **Radford149** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:18 pm

dbrien wrote:
Radford149 wrote:come on boys lets hear your stories, you've all done one
well I was reasonably drunk and stuck with one at a party, but the problem is they always want to get food involved. She smeared by body with a Fray Bentos pie (steak and Kidney), licked it all of then fell asleep. Actually she wasnt that fat, I'd say she was a stone and a half over her fighting weight and as the saying goes, 'I would rather fuck her than fight her'

top post

Gooners444 · Post by **Gooners444** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:21 pm

After lots of beers and a bottle of cognac last friday, me and some friends went out to town. I was wasted, and began talking to a girl I remember I thought looked good. When I waked up on saturday morning and looked at what I had managed to drag home, I got really sick. She was a fat, ugly girl

The worst thing is that I remember I had a good time

Hope it will never happen again. She did not want to go home either

(Sorry if my english is not good)

dbrien · Post by **dbrien** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:25 pm

Gooners444 wrote:After lots of beers and a bottle of cognac last friday, me and some friends went out to town. I was wasted, and began talking to a girl I remember I thought looked good. When I waked up on saturday morning and looked at what I had managed to drag home, I got really sick. She was a fat, ugly girl The worst thing is that I remember I had a good time Hope it will never happen again. She did not want to go home either

(Sorry if my english is not good)

If she was that fat, how did you drag her home? By a compilcated use of cogs, winches, rope and a cherokee jeep?

Radford149 · Post by **Radford149** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:29 pm

dbrien wrote:
Gooners444 wrote:After lots of beers and a bottle of cognac last friday, me and some friends went out to town. I was wasted, and began talking to a girl I remember I thought looked good. When I waked up on saturday morning and looked at what I had managed to drag home, I got really sick. She was a fat, ugly girl The worst thing is that I remember I had a good time Hope it will never happen again. She did not want to go home either

(Sorry if my english is not good)
If she was that fat, how did you drag her home? By a compilcated use of cogs, winches, rope and a cherokee jeep?

LOL .............keep em coming lads

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:32 pm

Still haven't had YOUR confession, Rads.

Come on. Play the game.

Gooners444 · Post by **Gooners444** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:32 pm

dbrien wrote:
Gooners444 wrote:After lots of beers and a bottle of cognac last friday, me and some friends went out to town. I was wasted, and began talking to a girl I remember I thought looked good. When I waked up on saturday morning and looked at what I had managed to drag home, I got really sick. She was a fat, ugly girl The worst thing is that I remember I had a good time Hope it will never happen again. She did not want to go home either

(Sorry if my english is not good)
If she was that fat, how did you drag her home? By a compilcated use of cogs, winches, rope and a cherokee jeep?

He he

She was not THAT fat, but bigger than normal.....

Post by **REB** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:40 pm

i always preferred big girls when i went out on the pull, they were always more grateful if you know what i mean

Radford149 · Post by **Radford149** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:40 pm

olgitgooner wrote:Still haven't had YOUR confession, Rads.

Come on. Play the game.

i confessed to two on the previous page

dbrien · Post by **dbrien** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:42 pm

you should ideally tie rope around you and then attach it to a tree so you dont fall in.

Think Health
Think Safety
Think Health and Safety
Always make sure you wear a harness

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:02 pm

Mate of mine used to be a part-time soldier.

Barnstable, in Devon, was a regular place to visit for lads on training/exercises.

On the "free" night, they would hit the town. Get pissed up. Have fun.

There was a competition. "Grab the Grot". In which you would pull the ugliest girl around. And win a bet.

After a while this competition got quite serious. Lots of money was in the kitty. The rule was that you had to grab the grot AND bring her back to barracks AND be seen to be giving her one. While the lads outside the window would hold up score cards for ugliness, technical ability, and artistic performance.

One of the lads was determined to win the money.

He saw the ugliest woman he had ever seen in his life. And went in for the kill. Her wined and dined her. Bought her gifts. Spent loads of money. Danced with her. Kissed her. Told her he would like to have children with her.

When he suggested going back to the barracks, she said......

...."FUCK OFF. I WON YOUR FUCKING COMPETITION LAST WEEK !"

Radford149 · Post by **Radford149** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:06 pm

olgitgooner wrote:Mate of mine used to be a part-time soldier.

Barnstable, in Devon, was a regular place to visit for lads on training/exercises.

On the "free" night, they would hit the town. Get pissed up. Have fun.

There was a competition. "Grab the Grot". In which you would pull the ugliest girl around. And win a bet.

After a while this competition got quite serious. Lots of money was in the kitty. The rule was that you had to grab the grot AND bring her back to barracks AND be seen to be giving her one. While the lads outside the window would hold up score cards for ugliness, technical ability, and artistic performance.

One of the lads was determined to win the money.

He saw the ugliest woman he had ever seen in his life. And went in for the kill. Her wined and dined her. Bought her gifts. Spent loads of money. Danced with her. Kissed her. Told her he would like to have children with her.

When he suggested going back to the barracks, she said......

...."FUCK OFF. I WON YOUR FUCKING COMPETITION LAST WEEK !"

top story and i know there're ar more ............come on fellas you KNOW you had a go

theothehero · Post by **theothehero** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:47 am

a story i got told my a mate, a fellow gooner....

all his mates were out for a night out and one of them woke up the next monrin next to a fat ugly bird, he couldnt remember how she got there, or if they had sex, he new he was gonna get some stick for it from the boys, and he didnt wanna get some stick for summit that didnt hapen, so he sha**ed her in the morning, just to make sure the abusive he was goin to get was for a reason.

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 3:57 pm

olgitgooner wrote:
Radford149 wrote:
olgitgooner wrote:
Radford149 wrote:
olgitgooner wrote:Radders you are DEFINATELY trying to beat all records for the most new threads in one day!!!
that means you have you dirty fucker
Well, she wasn't MASSIVELY big.

And she was a better looker than your Izzy from the radio.
oh please fuck off. she was BIG...by the way did you do tongues?
you dirty fucker
Yup! Licked her nipple, navel and minge. AT THE SAME TIME.

Minge was a bit difficult to find. She had to fart, to give me a clue.

I would like to say that my "big bird" story was total lies.

I have never shagged a fat, or ugly, woman.

I was just indulging Radford and his thread.

Honest!!!!!!!

I'm lucky. When alcohol convinces me that an ugly woman is actually beautiful, that is the time when brewers droop has already set in. So I couldn't possibly perform.

U.F.G Anfield '89 · Post by **U.F.G Anfield '89** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 8:21 pm

i've had a big bird, literally, she wasn't fat but the kinky bitch wanted to dress up as a chicken.