the 'Alan Partridge quote' thread

Goonanana · Post by **Goonanana** » Fri May 14, 2010 9:37 am

Butter my arse!

Swale_Gooner1985 · Post by **Swale_Gooner1985** » Fri May 14, 2010 9:38 am

Number 5 wrote:"Well Sonia, that was classic intercourse. So... thanks!"

''If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plow the family into the soil, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who is also your brother.''

'Do you know what my favourite part of Sonia is? Its her feet, she has lovely dainty feet, i cant stand big feet, it reminds me of gammon'

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 9:42 am

We've got so much chat, I'm going to have to get my ice pick out and scale the north face of Chat-mandu!

Swale_Gooner1985 · Post by **Swale_Gooner1985** » Fri May 14, 2010 10:10 am

norfbankN16 wrote:We've got so much chat, I'm going to have to get my ice pick out and scale the north face of Chat-mandu!

'Tonight im really going to put the Chat among the pigeons'

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:08 am

'Dan's a great man. I was talking to him today on the phone and he was asking me what phone I have and I said a Motorola Timeport and he said 'that's SAAAAAADDDDD! you need to upgrade' and I said 'so do you to a new face!' He nearly soiled himself he said he was laughing so hard, he had Kenco coming out of his nostrils and that made me laugh... But my nostrils were clear...'

marcengels · Post by **marcengels** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:08 am

good thread

Just to elaborate on one ealier

"My girlfriend's 33, I'm 47, shes 14 years younger than me....back of the net!"

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:11 am

Dan: Hi
Alan: Are you wearing Lynx?
Dan: Well smelt! Voodoo!
Alan: Java!

Swale_Gooner1985 · Post by **Swale_Gooner1985** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:23 am

norfbankN16 wrote:Dan: Hi
Alan: Are you wearing Lynx?
Dan: Well smelt! Voodoo!
Alan: Java!

DAN, DAN, DAN, DAN, DAN.....DAAAANNNN, No, he hasnt seen me, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, Ill have to catch him later, DAAAAAAAAAANNNNN

Thats a great episode with some cracking quotes, including

'Dont rub your fanny on me'

'Lyn, these are sex swappers'

'Ill tell you what, i deserve a bravery award for that' (on returning from the toilet)

and my personal favourite

'Oh look, there is single hand Sue tackling the buffet, she is like a human JCB'

Kevinho · Post by **Kevinho** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:28 am

And the Scottish Division One match between Taste of Dunfermline and Strathcarnage cannot be stopped.

GOOD NIGHT.

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 11:42 am

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:
norfbankN16 wrote:Dan: Hi
Alan: Are you wearing Lynx?
Dan: Well smelt! Voodoo!
Alan: Java!
DAN, DAN, DAN, DAN, DAN.....DAAAANNNN, No, he hasnt seen me, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, Ill have to catch him later, DAAAAAAAAAANNNNN

Thats a great episode with some cracking quotes, including

'Dont rub your fanny on me'

'Lyn, these are sex swappers'

'Ill tell you what, i deserve a bravery award for that' (on returning from the toilet)

and my personal favourite

'Oh look, there is single hand Sue tackling the buffet, she is like a human JCB'

Eboue-Why? · Post by **Eboue-Why?** » Fri May 14, 2010 12:14 pm

Stop getting Bond wrong!

littlefire · Post by **littlefire** » Fri May 14, 2010 12:20 pm

"I can't get Bangkok Lady Boys in my room"

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 12:25 pm

'Between you and me I do things with her that I'd never have done with my wife Carol. Occasionally I dost venture south, and when I do it's like a breath of fresh air'

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri May 14, 2010 12:38 pm

Love this thread

"I'll have a Baileys and a pint of Bitter"

"Its called a lady boy"

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri May 14, 2010 12:45 pm

Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank