Chimp Watch - Transfer Confirmed

Post by **I Hate Hleb** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:30 pm

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:Disappointed, I thought this was a thread with a webcam to the Longleat monkey drive through, them fuckers have still got the windscreen wipers from my mums 2.5 litre ford capri S.....

greengooner · Post by **greengooner** » Tue Jul 30, 2013 8:01 pm

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:Who better than David Pleat to edumacate us all on how to negotiate a transfer as the window winds down?

Evening everybody.

Post by **DB10GOONER** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:16 am

The most hilarious thing about this whole affair is just how vastly over-rated MonkeyFeatures is.

And obviously the fact he looks like a slightly retarded monkey.

But, I swear to God, if I see the monkey-featured crunt do that stupid fucking geebag loveheart thing with his fingers right into the camera once this season I'm going to break something. Possibly the jaw of the bald prick with ears manure "fan" that lives 2 doors up from me.

northbank123 · Post by **northbank123** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:24 am

DB10GOONER wrote:The most hilarious thing about this whole affair is just how vastly over-rated MonkeyFeatures is.

And obviously the fact he looks like a slightly retarded monkey.

But, I swear to God, if I see the monkey-featured crunt do that stupid fucking geebag loveheart thing with his fingers right into the camera once this season I'm going to break something. Possibly the jaw of the bald prick with ears manure "fan" that lives 2 doors up from me.

He is a devastatingly effective player for Spurs, no arguments. But would he reproduce the one-man show at Madrid? No way. Absolutely no chance. Unless they tell Ozil, Kheidira, Modric and Alonso to stop playing any football and Ronaldo to pass it every time he gets the ball.

Gareth Bale is not worth £85m and he's certainly not worth that to Real Madrid. Worth more than Ronaldo? Absolutely mental. Worth more than Falcao or any world class striker? Not in my book. Seems like they're desperate to sign the name rather than the player - Barca signing Neymar was a bit of a coup and maybe this has something to do with it.

£60m is more than reasonable for him - if they prise £85m out of Real Madrid Levy will be delighted. Yes, we know more than anyone that you have to keep hold of your best players, but they could only force him to stay at Spurs for one more year realistically and getting that sort of money would be outrageous.

OneBardGooner · Post by **OneBardGooner** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:12 pm

DB10GOONER wrote:The most hilarious thing about this whole affair is just how vastly over-rated MonkeyFeatures is.

And obviously the fact he looks like a slightly retarded monkey.

But, I swear to God, if I see the monkey-featured crunt do that stupid fucking geebag loveheart thing with his fingers right into the camera once this season I'm going to break something. Possibly the jaw of the bald prick with ears manure "fan" that lives 2 doors up from me.

You are SOOOO WRONG DB!

Oh! yes you are...

He does NOT look like a slightly retarded monkey - he looks like the most under-evolved primate on the planet - NOT even slightly - it is there for all to see - he is even more retarded looking than that *word censored* roy keane

Red Snapper · Post by **Red Snapper** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:50 pm

Looks like he's off. Reports he's told AVB he wants to leave. Big payday for N17 if it's true.

Dan_85 · Post by **Dan_85** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:03 pm

Red Snapper wrote:Looks like he's off. Reports he's told AVB he wants to leave. Big payday for N17 if it's true.

Thing is, didn't he signed a new contract at the end of May? Why sign that? What was so different then compared to now? Surely if he knows now that he wants to leave, he would have know at the end of May too?

northbank123 · Post by **northbank123** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:12 pm

Dan_85 wrote:
Red Snapper wrote:Looks like he's off. Reports he's told AVB he wants to leave. Big payday for N17 if it's true.
Thing is, didn't he signed a new contract at the end of May? Why sign that? What was so different then compared to now? Surely if he knows now that he wants to leave, he would have know at the end of May too?

He signed a new deal last June, not signed anything this year fella.

Caulker is also off to Cardiff it seems. He's the typical sort of player Spurs fans wildly talk up as evidence of their strong squad, yet failed to estalish himself above the likes of Gallas and permacrock Dawson and is now off to relegation fodder.

1989 · Post by **1989** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:12 pm

I think he'll be a hit in Madrid, and whilst £85m seems a tad outrageous, he's a one-man wrecking machine of a player, and you a premium for players like that.

He's pretty much a left footed Ronaldo without the ego, as he is happy to track back and work hard defensively for the team unlike the Portuguese nancy boy.

They'll have a frightening attack next season with Ronaldo, Bale, Ozil, Benzema, Isco and Modric behind them pulling the strings.

No wonder the scum have been spending freely this summer, they knew they were getting serious money for the ape.

Dan_85 · Post by **Dan_85** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:15 pm

northbank123 wrote:He signed a new deal last June, not signed anything this year fella.

Really? Sure I read something. Oh well.

northbank123 · Post by **northbank123** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:48 pm

Ronaldo plus - you sure 1989? Hate to say it but Ronaldo is without doubt one of the best players I've ever seen, as much of a prick as he is. Bale is devastatingly effective but I would never put him in the same bracket.

1989 · Post by **1989** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:48 pm

Perhaps I got carried away a bit there, but he does have most of Ronaldo's attributes. Similarly built, pace to burn, two footed, strong as an ox, powerful shot, great finisher, great movement, takes a mean free kick, etc.

All about consistency for me, and whether he can replicate Ronaldo's inhuman stats.

Post by **I Hate Hleb** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:53 pm

Not all good news I'm afraid because if they sell Bale then it will allow spurs to put an even stronger squad together!!

George71 · Post by **George71** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:15 pm

Is Real Madrid an ape and monkey rescue place?

Me thinks monkey world in Dorset missed out on this one

IF he had gone would you of paid to see him behind bars?

I would just to throw bananas at him without being arrested

northbank123 · Post by **northbank123** » Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:20 pm

The main thing he lacks compared to Ronaldo is the skill on the ball. Bale ultimately didn't prosper as a left-back because you rarely get 1-on-1 with the defender and when you do it's normally in a tight area, and he didn't really have the skill to punish them. Playing at left-wing he's 1-on-1 virtually all the time - if the defender gets too tight he'll run in behind, and if the defender lets him get the ball to feet and turn then he'll just kick it past him and run.

Will he be anywhere near as effective in a team where he won't have the same positional freedom, where their whole game plan won't revolve around getting the ball to him and where they'll be playing week in week out against sides who will camp inside their own half and not really offer them much chance to counter-attack? No. He's not worth £85m and he's certainly not worth that to Real Madrid.

Chimp Watch - Transfer Confirmed

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