The Gooner Forum

Anyone remember when he was interviewing the lesbians and he said "Do these slang names hurt: Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage"

'Sunday, BLOODY Sunday!'

"No way ya big spastic, youre a mentalist"

Whilst checking his crank calls list...


Alan: "B.Oddie? This is Bill Oddie!

Receptionist: "We thought it was body"

Alan: "What's funny about a body?

Receptionist: "Tits"

And now, for one of the biggest stadium rock bands in the world; R! E!...................O Speedwagon!

flash gunner wrote:Anyone remember when he was interviewing the lesbians and he said "Do these slang names hurt: Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage"

This bit is brilliant! he way he just rolls them all off

'are those names you and the guys made up in the offices Alan?'

'Well we didnt come up with Lesbos and Dykes, we cant take the credit for those'

Swale_Gooner1985 wrote:

flash gunner wrote:Anyone remember when he was interviewing the lesbians and he said "Do these slang names hurt: Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage"

This bit is brilliant! he way he just rolls them all off

'are those names you and the guys made up in the pffoces Alan?'

'Well we didnt come up with Lesbos and Dykes, we cant take the credit for those'

norfbankN16 wrote:'Sunday, BLOODY Sunday!'

Yes, Alan loved the irish

"There's more to Ireland den dis!"

On the potato famine...

‘At the end of the day, they will pay the price for being a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat at a modest restaurant.’

Great thread, people!

Ive just been outside having chinwag about cancer, I once found a lump under my arm, terrifying, turned out to be a knot in my vest

g88ner wrote:

norfbankN16 wrote:'Sunday, BLOODY Sunday!'

Yes, Alan loved the irish

"There's more to Ireland den dis!"

On the potato famine...

‘At the end of the day, they will pay the price for being a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, they could afford to eat at a modest restaurant.’

Great thread, people!

'Ireland has always fascinated me, I'd Love to go'

'It always makes me laugh when people say that, when it's only £49 on a plane'

'Yeah, i think thats what puts me off'

When he is asking that woman out from his office

"I know a cracking owl sanctuary"

then asks he to dinner

"Ive got a scam going with a big plate..... Do you want to be my co-eater?"

flash gunner wrote:When he is asking that woman out from his office

"I know a cracking owl sanctuary"

then asks he to dinner

"Ive got a scam going with a big plate..... Do you want to be my co-eater?"

'I would like to dedicate this song to my lady friend Jill, who is sitting over there with a cigarette in her mouth'

'Why do birds suddenly appear, knowing when, you are near, near, its too high, just like me, just like me, no too high high, close to you, why do, why do birds, oh forget it, anyway you get the jist

'Well done Lynn... that was textbook '