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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon May 06, 2024 10:30 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I met a fairy today who granted me one wish.
"I want to live forever" I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that".
"Fine" I said.
"I want to die when Tottenham win the premier league then".
"You crafty cunnt" said the fairy.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue May 07, 2024 10:19 am
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue May 07, 2024 8:05 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.
One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind.
Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.'
Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed May 08, 2024 7:58 am
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sun May 12, 2024 2:11 pm
by TeeCee
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue May 14, 2024 2:05 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Tue May 07, 2024 8:05 pm
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.
One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind.
Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.'
Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 8:55 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
The autocorrect on my phone hasn't got used to me yet.
It still thinks I like watching canal fishing videos.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 8:57 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My wife was reading Cosmopolitan magazine in bed last night and said to me, "It says here that most women get bored with their husband's sexual efforts after a few years of marriage."
"Really love?" I replied, as I continued to thrust away.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:01 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Going to watch a Scouse tribute band tonight...Took That
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:03 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I've just brought home a Barbie 'Domestic Violence' doll for my daughter.
Battery not included.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:16 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Manchester City are facing 115 charges by the FA. If found guilty, they'll be relegated so far down the tables they'll end up playing in the Scottish league.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2024 10:26 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My wife called me a sex machine yesterday.
Actually she called me 'A fucking tool', but i know what she meant
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 1:46 pm
by Midz
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2024 3:30 pm
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Tue Jun 11, 2024 8:55 pm
The autocorrect on my phone hasn't got used to me yet.
It still thinks I like watching canal fishing videos.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Tue Jun 18, 2024 2:49 pm
by OneBardGooner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:01 pm
Going to watch a Scouse tribute band tonight...Took That
