LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

It's all a load of Cannonballs in here! This is the virtual Arsenal pub where you can chat about anything except football. Be warned though, like any pub, the content may not always be suitable for everyone.
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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

Sorry guys but I don't know / have any (original) jokes etc... But saw this with Dave Allen...Wait for the end :wink:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXK1at-udX8

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

TeeCee wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....

"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.

"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
:lol: :lol:

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

TeeCee wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....

"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.

"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Image

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

OneBardGooner wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:54 pm
TeeCee wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....

"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.

"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Image
Has Rooney been at her? :shock:

:lol: :wink:

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

DB10GOONER wrote:
Sun Jan 26, 2025 11:12 pm
OneBardGooner wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:54 pm
TeeCee wrote:
Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....

"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.

"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Image
Has Rooney been at her? :shock:

:lol: :wink:
Don't think so she still has her False Teeth in! :D

LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

DIY tip of the week:

A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?

Your floor's level !!

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2025 12:19 pm
DIY tip of the week:

A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?

Your floor's level !!
:coffeespit: :coffeespit: :coffeespit: Brilliant! Lefty! You da Man! :high5:

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DB10GOONER
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by DB10GOONER »

LeftfootlegendGooner wrote:
Wed Feb 05, 2025 12:19 pm
DIY tip of the week:

A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?

Your floor's level !!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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OneBardGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by OneBardGooner »


LeftfootlegendGooner
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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

Women always claim to want security in a relationship.

But the moment I lock them in my cellar.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

If anyone wants a list of my favourite Bugs Bunny quotes, I'll send them to you in a WhatsApp doc.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I can't understand how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals and blaming it on the cost of living!

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.

Sometimes she would orgasm three or four times a night.

I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them

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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

Post by LeftfootlegendGooner »

My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.'
'What's that?', she said.

'It's a big building with kids in it.'

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