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Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2025 12:01 pm
by OneBardGooner
Sorry guys but I don't know / have any (original) jokes etc... But saw this with Dave Allen...Wait for the end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXK1at-udX8
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:35 pm
by DB10GOONER
TeeCee wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....
"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.
"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:54 pm
by OneBardGooner
TeeCee wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....
"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.
"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2025 11:12 pm
by DB10GOONER
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:54 pm
TeeCee wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....
"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.
"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Has Rooney been at her?
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Mon Jan 27, 2025 1:34 pm
by OneBardGooner
DB10GOONER wrote: ↑Sun Jan 26, 2025 11:12 pm
OneBardGooner wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:54 pm
TeeCee wrote: ↑Sat Jan 25, 2025 8:56 am
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk....
"Is that all you've got?" I asked. "Yes" she smiled.
"Well" I replied, "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"
Has Rooney been at her?
Don't think so she still has her False Teeth in!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2025 12:19 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
DIY tip of the week:
A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?
Your floor's level !!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2025 2:12 pm
by OneBardGooner
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Feb 05, 2025 12:19 pm
DIY tip of the week:
A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?
Your floor's level !!
Brilliant! Lefty! You da Man!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2025 10:37 am
by DB10GOONER
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Wed Feb 05, 2025 12:19 pm
DIY tip of the week:
A woman is on all fours with sperm dripping from her arse and both corners of her mouth. what does this tell you?
Your floor's level !!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2025 10:11 am
by OneBardGooner
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:38 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
Women always claim to want security in a relationship.
But the moment I lock them in my cellar.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:38 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
If anyone wants a list of my favourite Bugs Bunny quotes, I'll send them to you in a WhatsApp doc.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:38 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:39 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I can't understand how funeral directors have raised the price of funerals and blaming it on the cost of living!
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:40 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
I used to go out with a girl who punched me in the face when she orgasmed.
Sometimes she would orgasm three or four times a night.
I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2025 1:40 pm
by LeftfootlegendGooner
My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.'
'What's that?', she said.
'It's a big building with kids in it.'