LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

Saw 2 blind men fighting yesterday,
Didn't know how to stop them fighting,
So I shouted "I'm supporting the one with the knife"
They both stopped & ran away.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I'm just on holiday and got my girlfriend to smuggle some coke up her arse through customs.

I didn't realise I could've just bought another can in the departure lounge.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas.

Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I'm now in casualty...

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

You gotta hand it to midgets.
Because some times they can't reach.

[LeftfootlegendGooner]

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with a tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks," says the little boy. As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little boy says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

[OneBardGooner]

Especially for DB.


You gotta hand it to midgets.
Because some times they can't reach.

[OneBardGooner]

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with a tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks," says the little boy. As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
"Little partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little boy says, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

Ohh! Fuck My Ribs...

[DB10GOONER]

Especially for DB.


You gotta hand it to midgets.
Because some times they can't reach.

Goddamned ewoks editing posts....

[DB10GOONER]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.

We know a bloke with a story about that!

[OneBardGooner]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.

We know a bloke with a story about that!

Apparently she's still out there!

[DB10GOONER]

I'm just on holiday and got my girlfriend to smuggle some coke up her arse through customs.

I didn't realise I could've just bought another can in the departure lounge.

[DB10GOONER]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.

We know a bloke with a story about that!

Apparently she's still out there!

What is the Spanish for "Cum Dumpster"?

[OneBardGooner]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.

We know a bloke with a story about that!

Apparently she's still out there!

What is the Spanish for "Cum Dumpster"?

La Gargle.

[DB10GOONER]

My wife said to me that holiday sex is definitely the best.

That's the worst postcard I've ever had tbf.

We know a bloke with a story about that!

Apparently she's still out there!

What is the Spanish for "Cum Dumpster"?

La Gargle.

[OneBardGooner]