I have indeed checked the inbox today my child and there are, in fact, three new confessions! Firstly, from anonymousPercy Dalton wrote:Have you checked the inbox today?
I do hope there is a new confession.
I got Jamie Redknapp banned for six matches at the Emirates. I also told Peter Schmeical to fuck a dead goat when he got on the united team bus after the Ian wright stamping on him game......he looked at me and smiled in which I said ok not a goat that's dead go fuck yourself...he didn't smile then.
Once I followed the Aston Villa team bus up the M1 after they played us. They stopped at Toddington Services where I then stuck a banana up the coach exhaust which later broke down.
Another time at Liverpool I stuck a stink bomb in the Arkles pub and it got so bad punters had to go outside...it worked I got served....mind you the blonde behind the counter enjoyed the smell.
But best of all I actually did fuck Kevin Davies' missus two days before they got married.....it got so heated that she was close to not marrying him. She sucked my dick so hard I still feel it. When at Bolton three seasons back I bumped into her at the car park and offered her a fuck for old times sake....she paused and said take my number.....I still have it...text her three times and she is gagging for me.
and secondly
Firstly, thank you for opening up your confessions clinic. There is something I have been wanting to say for sometime but not being Roman Catholic and being a loyal follower of the Church of Wenger I have not had the opportunity to do this before.
My problem is you see, I simply cannot stop thinking of all things Arsenal, and mainly Arsene Wenger praise be forthcoming, and when I have these thoughts bad things happen. Just last week I walked into the club shop and there it was, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The chest on it was fabulous, the legs were to die for and the bum seemed snug too.
I simply had to have that tracksuit!
And when I say have, I mean literally have! I took the tracksuit into the changing room and got myself undressed. I hung the tracksuit on the cubicle door and found myself grinding against it. Soon I was shreiking "uh, uh, uh you gorgeous filthy tracksuit" as my groin hammered into the lovely Nike nylon crutch hard. "Let me fil you with my slimey Arsenal seed" I screamed as I imagined Arsene wearing that exact same tracksuit at training this morning. All it lacked was the scent of his majestic sweat but no matter, I had come prepared.
Out come my homemade jar of Arsene scent that I had carefully blended it home. I had to use my imagination to create the perfect odour, a mix of garlic, extreme arrogance and the musky smell only a 2nd rate Parisian rapper's snatch can give. I poured some onto the collar of the tracksuit and I was off again!
"Ooooh Arsene" I cried as I started to reach the climax of this wonderful love tryst! "Arsene I never knew a man of your age was so flexible" I squealed with delight as I doubled the tracksuit over the small bench in the cubicle and took it from behind.
By now though security had rumbled me and were banging on the door, forcefully trying to destroy our relationship just like those nasty men with the banner. Like the banner thugs though, security would not come between Arsene and I and I was soon covering the Arsene tracksuit in my love semolina. However, as soon as I was dressed and went to leave the changing room I was arrested and driven to Holloway police station where I was charged with indecent exposure and commiting an act likely to offend public decency.
Believe me, the tag on my ankle really spoils the look of my Arsenal socks when I put the full home kit on to go to bed.
So you see Mr Sunderland, I am in a bit of a pickle. I am not expecting any advice or sympathy I just wanted to unburden myself in the hope that there may just be someone out there who understands my plight, although nobody is or can be as big an Arsenal fan as I am.
Thank you for your time today. How is Sunderland at this time of year? Sorry but my geography isn't very good. I hear it is up north but is it closer to Norway or Belguim?
By the way, I have changed my name to protect my identity.
Der Bemmer
Then, thirdly
I am in love with my best friends mother. this is wrong and i know this is wrong but i can not help it. If i am ever left in his house by myself i go straight to the dirty laundry basket next to the washing machine and i sniff her pants both where her pussy rubs against and where the sweat from her beautiful arse gathers. I lick them and I imagine I am licking her beautiful fanny and arse. I want her to sit on my face and smother me. I also sneak into her bedroom and wear her clean pants over my face and masturbate and sometimes i deliberately wipe my cum on them just so that i know she'll eventually have my semen against her skin. Am I a bad man?
no my son, you are troubled but as you have confessed your sins, you are cleansed. You shall be really cleansed if you can get a photo of this alluring woman and email them to the confession account so that I can ensure she meets the required standard for fantasising about