Grumpy Git - things that "literally" get on my tit

[StuartL]

Umbrellas.... Fucking Umbrellas really grip my shit so badly...

I don't think that's what they're for, Frank.

[olgitgooner]

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Wasted beer really gets on my tits!!!!

[StuartL]

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

Wasted beer really gets on my tits!!!!

Happens a lot at your age olgit - nothing to be ashamed of, just get yourself a plastic bib with catching area. Sorted.

[olgitgooner]

[Rosie_titters]

Facebook

[I Hate Hleb]

Facebook

Well I think you'll find it's the only way you can read it (or look at the pictures!!)

[goonersid]

Gaelic "football" I fucking despise this game and everything associated with it. If there is a sport more void of skill on this planet then I haven't seen it. A game played by fucking redneck bogmen.
I hate the stupid fucking little flags the supporters stick on their cars and some even have them on fucking poles outside their farmhouses, take it fucking down you idiot inbred six toed fucking culchie bastards.
I hate the way they call it "football" and refer to real football as soccer'.
I hated having to play it at school, the cry of "pick it up pick it up" if you attempted any sort of skilful play involving your feet, still rings in my ear.
The catchy ball season is in full swing at the moment and if being on the border with Donegal wasn't bad enough ( a county in which every member of the population is a fucking hillbillie waterboot wearing tractor driving fucking redneck) they are catchy ball mad and those annoying flags are fucking everywhere.

Rugby homoball.

But yeah - I too hate Gaelic "football" and the arseholes that like it.

Not a fan of rugger myself, but would argue that there is a level of skill required which pishes and indeed shites all over catchyball.
The odd shaped ball surely requires some practice to become good at kicking and catching it. Where as in catchyball, even with a round ball they are permitted to basically throw the fucking thing into the net, although the safer option of a point is usually the preferred choice.

[franksav63]

Umbrellas.... Fucking Umbrellas really grip my shit so badly...

I don't think that's what they're for, Frank.

That's fucking quality!!!

[franksav63]

Cyclists and their bells..... They ring them far too often, even when you've seen the *word censored* coming... ring, ring, ring.... x's 100 - please fuck off!!

[DB10GOONER]

Cyclists and their bells..... They ring them far too often, even when you've seen the *word censored* coming... ring, ring, ring.... x's 100 - please fuck off!!

I fucking hate cyclists.

Especially hate cyclists that seem to think the rules of the road are not for them.

Had a stupid bitch absolutely fucking fly through a red light as I was crossing a road last week. She missed me by about an inch (or a Leftfootedlegend cock-length! ) and then glared back at me like I was somehow in the fucking wrong for crossing the road at a green light and a clearly marked pedestrian crossing! So, as you do, I expressed my dismay at her ignorance and her rule breaking by sharing some of my favourite Anglo-Saxon words with her.

I really hope the stupid cúnt gets her bike robbed. Which, to be honest, is quite likely in Dublin!

[olgitgooner]

Cyclists can be absolute twats. Especially when they think that red traffic lights only apply to engine powered road users

But I also hate joggers. They make me feel guilty when they have to run on the spot at road crossings because me and my car have right of way.

Have you ever seen a jogger wearing a smile? Or any sort of happy face? No. They are all miserably forcing themselves to do something they don't really want to do. I do not wish to be a witness to your misery, you sad *word censored*.

Fuck off and run in a field. Somewhere out of my sight. And take your stupid joggy fashion clothing with you.

And I hope your water bottles are full of harmful germs.

[arseofacrow]

When you have a bag or bags and put them down to lean them against something they dont, they always tip back and fall towards you on to the ground. Doesn't seem to matter which way you lean them, always fucking happens.

[DB10GOONER]

When you have a bag or bags and put them down to lean them against something they dont, they always tip back and fall towards you on to the ground. Doesn't seem to matter which way you lean them, always fucking happens.

Have you considered briefs or even maybe Y-fronts rather than boxers?

[DB10GOONER]

Cyclists can be absolute twats. Especially when they think that red traffic lights only apply to engine powered road users

But I also hate joggers. They make me feel guilty when they have to run on the spot at road crossings because me and my car have right of way.

Have you ever seen a jogger wearing a smile? Or any sort of happy face? No. They are all miserably forcing themselves to do something they don't really want to do. I do not wish to be a witness to your misery, you sad *word censored*.

Fuck off and run in a field. Somewhere out of my sight. And take your stupid joggy fashion clothing with you.

And I hope your water bottles are full of harmful germs.

^^This.

The guy that invented (or popularised, for our pedantic twat members! ) jogging actually had a massive Sean and died whilst... you guessed it... jogging.

Two words come to mind; "Divine" & "Retribution".

There is a God.

[DB10GOONER]

Chavs. Urban Scum. Knackers. Scobies. JH’s. Howya’s. Pikeys.

Hate them all. Dublin has been bathed in a heat wave all week (28 degrees-plus nearly every day) but can we honest hardworking tax-payers go for a nice sit down in the sun to each lunch without having to watch the spectacle of urban scum strutting around showing off their shit Indian ink tattoos, drinking, threatening people, fighting each other, screaming repeatedly for “Anto” or “Deco”, puking on the streets, dealing heroin, USING heroin, and racially abusing our tourists? Can we fuck.

Dublin is a great city, has some beautiful areas, great restaurants and bars and mostly relaxed nice people. Unfortunately all this is so easily ruined by a minority of absolute scumbag fuckcunts. We need armed vigilantes to start shooting these cúnts randomly and thus thin out their gene pool to the extent whereby the scum become extinct.