the 'Alan Partridge quote' thread

SteveO 35 · Post by **SteveO 35** » Fri May 14, 2010 5:00 pm

"Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro"

"but, but, but Alan....."

"No Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro. Go on try and finish the sentence and watch what I do".

"Well, Alan....."

"I'm not driving a mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving....."

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri May 14, 2010 5:04 pm

SteveO 35 wrote:"Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro"

"but, but, but Alan....."

"No Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro. Go on try and finish the sentence and watch what I do".

"Well, Alan....."

"I'm not driving a mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving....."

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri May 14, 2010 5:06 pm

When the receptionist says she doesnt like Dark Chocolate he asks her if she has kept it at room temp..... she says no

"Ah, right. In that caseâ€¦[pushes the chocolate orange back over the counter towards Sophie]â€¦Iâ€™m afraid youâ€™ve invalidated the warranty. Above room-temperature it all congeals into one big dark-chocolate cricket ball. So, Iâ€™m afraid your consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try Watchdog, but I think theyâ€™ve got bigger fish to fry."

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Fri May 14, 2010 5:07 pm

'That was classic intercourse! '

walbers · Post by **walbers** » Fri May 14, 2010 9:52 pm

When the geordie's talking to him really quickly...
"now that's just noise"

merse_10 · Post by **merse_10** » Fri May 14, 2010 10:17 pm

marcengels wrote: good thread

Just to elaborate on one ealier

"My girlfriend's 33, I'm 47, shes 14 years younger than me....CASHBACK!!

sorry to be an alan nerd but pretty sure that was the cash back line not back of the net,sorry again

merse_10 · Post by **merse_10** » Fri May 14, 2010 10:27 pm

YESSSS, its an extender

dr pepper!! it tastes like fizzy bennylin

eeeeeeeeee octe pussey,dr nowt

"jurassic park!"

michael-what are you doing alan
alan-destroying my cereals
michael-careful, folk'll call you a cereal killer

michael-d'ya wanna coup a beens
alan-have you got a spoon
michael-no,never had call for one,ill stick a sausage in in
alan-like a savoury 99

youth hosteling with chris eubank

LEGEND

Post by **flash gunner** » Fri May 14, 2010 10:47 pm

"The boys are back in the barracks"

Kevinho · Post by **Kevinho** » Fri May 14, 2010 10:56 pm

Here's a good joke. You'll like this one. There's this bloke called Glen Ponder. He's playing a jazz synthesiser in a Norwich wine bar. In walks Alan Partridge. Alan gives him a big break on national TV. Glen's pleased. Glen gets lippy. Glen gets the sack.

Knowing me Alan Partridge, sacking you Glen Ponder.

AHA!

And on that bombshell............

Post by **flash gunner** » Mon May 17, 2010 8:41 am

Kevinho wrote:Here's a good joke. You'll like this one. There's this bloke called Glen Ponder. He's playing a jazz synthesiser in a Norwich wine bar. In walks Alan Partridge. Alan gives him a big break on national TV. Glen's pleased. Glen gets lippy. Glen gets the sack.

Knowing me Alan Partridge, sacking you Glen Ponder.

AHA!

And on that bombshell............

Brilliant

Aaron Inglis · Post by **Aaron Inglis** » Mon May 17, 2010 11:56 am

'' Alan, did you send that valentines card'' ?

''Of course not, I'm old enough to be her father........or older brother.

Either way it's incest'' !!

norfbankN16 · Post by **norfbankN16** » Tue May 18, 2010 11:06 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzSQ3xgo ... r_embedded

'twat'

merson_is_god · Post by **merson_is_god** » Tue May 25, 2010 11:10 pm

Its a cow

merson_is_god · Post by **merson_is_god** » Sat May 29, 2010 8:43 pm

DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!