Page 5 of 5
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 5:00 pm
by SteveO 35
"Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro"
"but, but, but Alan....."
"No Lynn, I'm not driving a mini metro. Go on try and finish the sentence and watch what I do".
"Well, Alan....."
"I'm not driving a mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving....."
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 5:04 pm
by flash gunner
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 5:06 pm
by flash gunner
When the receptionist says she doesnt like Dark Chocolate he asks her if she has kept it at room temp..... she says no
"Ah, right. In that case…[pushes the chocolate orange back over the counter towards Sophie]…I’m afraid you’ve invalidated the warranty. Above room-temperature it all congeals into one big dark-chocolate cricket ball. So, I’m afraid your consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try Watchdog, but I think they’ve got bigger fish to fry."
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 5:07 pm
by norfbankN16
'That was classic intercourse! '
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 9:52 pm
by walbers
When the geordie's talking to him really quickly...
"now that's just noise"
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 10:17 pm
by merse_10
marcengels wrote: good thread
Just to elaborate on one ealier
"My girlfriend's 33, I'm 47, shes 14 years younger than me....CASHBACK!!
sorry to be an alan nerd but pretty sure that was the cash back line not back of the net,sorry again
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 10:27 pm
by merse_10
YESSSS, its an extender
dr pepper!! it tastes like fizzy bennylin
eeeeeeeeee octe pussey,dr nowt
"jurassic park!"
michael-what are you doing alan
alan-destroying my cereals
michael-careful, folk'll call you a cereal killer
michael-d'ya wanna coup a beens
alan-have you got a spoon
michael-no,never had call for one,ill stick a sausage in in
alan-like a savoury 99
youth hosteling with chris eubank
LEGEND
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 10:47 pm
by flash gunner
"The boys are back in the barracks"
Posted: Fri May 14, 2010 10:56 pm
by Kevinho
Here's a good joke. You'll like this one. There's this bloke called Glen Ponder. He's playing a jazz synthesiser in a Norwich wine bar. In walks Alan Partridge. Alan gives him a big break on national TV. Glen's pleased. Glen gets lippy. Glen gets the sack.
Knowing me Alan Partridge, sacking you Glen Ponder.
AHA!
And on that bombshell............
Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:41 am
by flash gunner
Kevinho wrote:Here's a good joke. You'll like this one. There's this bloke called Glen Ponder. He's playing a jazz synthesiser in a Norwich wine bar. In walks Alan Partridge. Alan gives him a big break on national TV. Glen's pleased. Glen gets lippy. Glen gets the sack.
Knowing me Alan Partridge, sacking you Glen Ponder.
AHA!
And on that bombshell............
Brilliant
Posted: Mon May 17, 2010 11:56 am
by Aaron Inglis
'' Alan, did you send that valentines card'' ?
''Of course not, I'm old enough to be her father........or older brother.
Either way it's incest'' !!
Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 11:06 am
by norfbankN16
Posted: Tue May 25, 2010 11:10 pm
by merson_is_god
Its a cow
Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 8:43 pm
by merson_is_god
DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!