Time for some festive cheer !

[SteveO 35]

I am a Jehovah's Witness and I strongly object to this post.

Can I ask that it taken down please before I am forced toreport this matter to Tom Cruise!

I'm sure you'll get your own back by knocking on my door on Sunday morning

[DB10GOONER]

I am a Jehovah's Witness and I strongly object to this post.

Can I ask that it taken down please before I am forced toreport this matter to Tom Cruise!

I'm a Catholic and you are going to burn in hell with all the other JH's, Prods, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Rastas etc. Which is nice.

[Its Up 4 Grabs Now]

Oddly I find if you shave the image of Jesus' face into your pubes, making your cock his nose, and then nonchalantly reveal yourself to the Jehovah's with the line "look, Jesus is a big fat liar!" they’re usually much less chatty.

And if they still won't leave then every time they tell you "Jesus loves you", you tenderly give Jesus a loving little stroke and say "...as I do him", at which point his nose grows even longer and you react in disgust with "Christ's sake Jesus, why won't you stop lying to me? I thought we were over this!"

Give it a go this Christmas.

[I Hate Hleb]

I am a Jehovah's Witness and I strongly object to this post.

Can I ask that it taken down please before I am forced toreport this matter to Tom Cruise!

I'm a Catholic and you are going to burn in hell with all the other JH's, Prods, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Rastas etc. Which is nice.

All I took from that last sentence is that Satan will allow spliff smoking. Ah well, at least that's something to look forward to!!

[Chippy]

at IU4GN post.

[I Hate Hleb]

Oddly I find if you shave the image of Jesus' face into your pubes, making your cock his nose, and then nonchalantly reveal yourself to the Jehovah's with the line "look, Jesus is a big fat liar!" they’re usually much less chatty.

And if they still won't leave then every time they tell you "Jesus loves you", you tenderly give Jesus a loving little stroke and say "...as I do him", at which point his nose grows even longer and you react in disgust with "Christ's sake Jesus, why won't you stop lying to me? I thought we were over this!"

Give it a go this Christmas.

But please don't follow that advice people. A lot of my family are JW's and I wouldn't want to have them unnecessarily upset - especially while I'm celebrating Christmas!!

[Its Up 4 Grabs Now]

at IU4GN post.

As I told you that time you knocked on the door, it was fucking cold that day!

[Its Up 4 Grabs Now]

But please don't follow that advice people. A lot of my family are JW's and I wouldn't want to have them unnecessarily upset - especially while I'm celebrating Christmas!!

Going door to door looking for someone (anyone!) to take in their junkie uncle for the festive season doesn't make them a Jehovah's Witness, mate.

[SteveO 35]

Its the most wonderful time of the year
With the players we’re selling
And Lord Wenger telling you “They’re all too dear”
Its the most wonderful time of the year
Its the eighth season of winning fuck all
With those tame 0-2 beatings, Arsene’s post match bleatings
When Forehead gets the ball
He can’t get past the full back at all

There’ll be Swansea we’re hosting
And we’ll get a roasting
Giroud looking slow
There’ll be superfan stories
Of past away glories of
Seasons long, long ago

Its the most wonderful time of the year
Passes keep to-and-fro-ing
Its so fucking boring
When the goal gets near
We’ll try one more short pass to the rear

And the Diamond Club’s hosting
Rich fans, wallets bloating
And spending all their lovely dough
They’ll be telling their stories
Of corporate glories
And ripping fans off as they go

Its the most wonderful time of the year
Ticket prices not lowing
Ivan’s nose is growing
But they won’t disappear
Its the most wonderful time of the year

[SteveO 35]

Merry Christmas to all my fellow Gooner pals. Just allow me one last time......

Oh Gervinho’s touch is frightful
But Abou is so delightful
And now we’re in fourth place, so
Keep our dough, keep our dough, keep our dough

Oh, he doesn’t show signs of shopping
Even though its points we’re dropping
But he loves Olivier so...
We’re so slow, we’re so slow, we’re so slow

When we play Aaron on the right
How we’re having no shots is the norm
But he keeps his wallet shut tight
So all the home games will be drawn

Now for the fourth spot we’re vying
By late Feb, trophies goodbye-ing
Virtual Trophies, we love them though
Eight in a row, in a row, in a row