Time for some festive cheer !

As we're unlikely to see terraces again at football, this is the virtual equivalent where you can chat to your hearts content about all football matters and, obviously, Arsenal in particular. This forum encourages all Gooners to visit and contribute so please keep it respectful, clean and topical.
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SteveO 35
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Time for some festive cheer !

Post by SteveO 35 »

Come on lads, its the 1st December. The kids are opening up the advent calendars, there's a nice thick frost, and we're all looking forward to this run of home games to shoot us up to the virtual trophy aren't we? Anyway, get in the spirit you miserable buggers :barscarf: :barscarf:

Don't you wish it could be Christmas (Arsenal style) everyday?

When the owner takes your dough,
And Thierry’s here on loan.
He’ll have a great big smile, if we get to fourth place.
If we start to race ahead,
We’ll lose to Wigan instead,
And you look for the draws, you know the great 0-0 bores are on the way.

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
When Le Goon starts moaning, there’s too many games to play.
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
Loan some players out at Christmas.

Are we at Goodison Park
If we make a flying start,
Then your Welsh buffoon’s gonna throw that lead away.
Now the frostiness appears
Cos the Chairman heard your jeers,
So we’ll sign Arsene up and all the hopes of the trophies melt away.

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
When the kids start playing and the two cups slip away.
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
So, ship your winger out at Christmas.

When the fans begin to groan,
Well they just might like to know,
Will we catch West Brom, or stay in seventh place?
So if Sagna wants to stay
We’ll make him take a cut in pay,
And sign a youngster from Lens, so we can drop lots of points and start agaiiiiin.

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
When the kids start playing in the Champions League away.
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
Don’t get your chequebook out at Christmas.

Ivan, take it away

Well I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
When the fans start wondering if Theo’s going to stay.
Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday.
We’ll leave the window shut at Christmas.
Why don’t we sign someone at Christmas?

Top Londoner
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Top Londoner »

Quality steve0. 8)

Can you pen something to the Rubettes, Slade or the Bay City Rollers please? :shock: :? :oops: :D

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IW8Goalmachine
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by IW8Goalmachine »

Excellent stuff! :lol:

1989
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by 1989 »

pmsl

Quality as ever SteveO!

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SteveO 35
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by SteveO 35 »

Top Londoner wrote:Quality steve0. 8)

Can you pen something to the Rubettes, Slade or the Bay City Rollers please? :shock: :? :oops: :D
You must have done a Wenger i.e. you didn't see it, on the Swansea thread a few days ago

Are you watching that free kick not clear the wall?
For the sixth time, it’s another shit dead ball
We won’t sign Goetze, he’s too dear
So we’ll be potless in May
But the season tickets renew anyway…..

So here it is merry Christmas
Uncle Ivan’s having fun
Approoooove, Arsene’s contract now
Till Twenty Twenty-Onnnnnnnnnnnne

Are you waiting for new signings to arrive?
Are you pissed off with the Forehead caught offside?
Doesn’t Arsene always tell ya that the fourth place is the best?
And a 18 year old full back signed from Brest

So here it is merry Christmas
Stanley Kroenke’s having fun
Give him your thousand pounds
So he can cut and runnnnn

What will your Chairman do
When he hears your home fans dissin' Wenger?
Ah ah
Are you hanging up some murals on your wall?
Are you hoping ticket prices start to fall?
Do you slide on down the table, win a trophy you have made?
When you finish down in seventh, you can sayyyyyy

So here it is Virtual Trophy
Held up in the Springtime sun
Look to sell Sagna now
The deal’s already donnnnnnneeee

Top Londoner
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Top Londoner »

Cheers Steve0, that was even better, I actually laughed out loud. Now, something by Hazel O'Connor if you please.

:barscarf:

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TeeCee
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by TeeCee »

To the tune of Hazel O' Connor's 'Eighth day'

Wenger said 'behold...what I have done'
We had class players, now we have none
Nobody laughs, everyone cries
Where will it end, my job is forever and ever
Amen..amen...amen

On the eighth day the fans just got upset
and I'm still to sell Jack Wilshire yet
The players are jaded, there's no Abou
but I'm celebrating cause my year end bonus has just come through...come through....

and Wenger said 'Behold what I have done
The Black Scarf Movement can just 'do one'
I've been in this business for 30 years
you know nothing you're just stupid fans
Especially you Piers....you Piers.....

8) :oops:

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SteveO 35
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by SteveO 35 »

One for the oldies.....a bit of Johnny Mathis !

A ray of hope, as we sit watching sky
Wenger says “New players? We will try”
But on the 1st of Feb, we’ll all sit and mourn
This window’s passed, more cash for the board

A superfan sails the seven seas
He’s always there from Donetsk through to Leeds
And he’ll always doubt, mumble “Where were you born?”
This comes to pass when a child is bored

A nice long queue weaving through the ground
Waits for shit food, they’ll spend their seven pound
For a spell or two, no-one seems forlorn
That will soon pass, when Fulham get their draw

And all of this happens because the fans are waiting,
Waiting for one signing
Black, white, yellow, no-one knows
But one will turn up and bring tears of laughter,
Hard to love, nice and cheap, under twenty one and very laboured
And misery and suffering will be words to be muttered, forever

It's all a dream, an illusion now
A real trophy, sometime soon somehow
Sat up in the stand, sits a happy board
This comes to pass when players are sold

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Eboue-Why?
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Eboue-Why? »

Steve you are a very funny and witty man..........
......but clearly too much time on your hands and you really must get out a bit more!!

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Chippy
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Chippy »

Obviously to Away in a Manger. Perhaps one of you lyrical geniuses can improve the second verse. Not difficult. :oops: :oops:

Away is our manager, away in the head,
The little Lord Wenger has lost all his cred.
The North bank are booing, the press they awake,
The little Lord Wenger excuses he makes.

We loved you Lord Wenger when trophies you won,
but for seven long years now you haven't won one.
The fans are all marching, the board are just pissed,
please leave us real soon while your rep just exists.

Top Londoner
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Top Londoner »

Bloody good effort TeeCee, perhaps a small change though.

In the eighth year the fans just got upset . 8)

and

Steve0, you should be in the New Year Honours list mate. Cracking Johnny Mathis effort. :barscarf:

Top Londoner
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Top Londoner »

Chippy wrote:Obviously to Away in a Manger. Perhaps one of you lyrical geniuses can improve the second verse. Not difficult. :oops: :oops:

Away is our manager, away in the head,
The little Lord Wenger has lost all his cred.
The North bank are booing, the press they awake,
The little Lord Wenger excuses he makes.

We loved you Lord Wenger when trophies you won,
but for seven long years now you haven't give us one.
The fans are all marching, the board are just pissed,
please leave us real soon while your rep still exists.
Fixed.
8/10 :D

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Chippy
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Chippy »

Top Londoner wrote:
Chippy wrote:Obviously to Away in a Manger. Perhaps one of you lyrical geniuses can improve the second verse. Not difficult. :oops: :oops:

Away is our manager, away in the head,
The little Lord Wenger has lost all his cred.
The North bank are booing, the press they awake,
The little Lord Wenger excuses he makes.

We loved you Lord Wenger when trophies you won,
but for seven long years now you haven't give us one.
The fans are all marching, the board are just pissed,
please leave us real soon while your rep still exists.
Fixed.
8/10 :D
:D Cheers but the first one is worse. Sounds like we 're having sex with him! Second change is an improvement. 5/10.

Its Up 4 Grabs Now
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by Its Up 4 Grabs Now »

To The Pogues "Fairytale of New York":

You're a bum you're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Sitting there in your trench, coat slumped on the bench
You scumbag you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse I pray god it's our last.

And the boys of the AKB choir's still singing Arsene's name
As the bell-end's bringing on
Forehead again.


OK, I may have cheated cos not many of the words needed changing. :oops:

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DB10_TH14
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Re: Time for some festive cheer !

Post by DB10_TH14 »

Its Up 4 Grabs Now wrote:To The Pogues "Fairytale of New York":

You're a bum you're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Sitting there in your trench, coat slumped on the bench
You scumbag you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse I pray god it's our last.

And the boys of the AKB choir's still singing Arsene's name
As the bell-end's bringing on
Forehead again.



OK, I may have cheated cos not many of the words needed changing. :oops:
still a good effort :bowing21:

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