Long time, no see

26may1989 · Post by **26may1989** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:59 pm

For longer standing members, long time, no see. For more recent posters, hello. I've been absent for a while, don't know why.

And I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. Fuck knows, it has nothing to do with Arsenal. But I feel a need to share this with people I don't know and can't see. I know this is self-indulgent, and tomorrow I'll probably regret posting it, but fuck it.

Two hours ago I found out my mother has been diagnosed as having cancer of the oesophagus. The cancer has already spread and the doctors say there is no point operating. This is the second time she's had cancer but I already know it's much more serious this time, and it was pretty fucking terrifying last time. Very few people survive cancer of the oesophagus, at least according to the websites I looked at when Mum's first symptoms came up. And the docs won't operate, so it must be bad.

I'm on a train, and behind me there's a couple in their 80s. They're probably decent people but I can't stop myself thinking "Why do you get to live that long and my Mum, who's had a tough life anyway, is going to die in her mid 60s?" It's too early, I'm not ready to let her go. Having grown up without a father until my teens, my Mum, my brother and I are close, and the idea that she'll be gone, that my kids will have to say goodbye to her before they could get to know her, it's beyond me. I feel numb but my mind's racing.

I don't really know why I'm posting this. The only football connection I can think of is that Mum, when I acquired an addiction to football having idolised Malcolm Macdonald and Liam Brady, bought me my first Arsenal ticket (vs West Brom in 1980, a 2-2 draw). And she also had a slightly bizarre crush on Pat Jennings.

So there you have it. I'm going to get as drunk as I can right now, and later tonight I'll have to break the news to my brother, who lives in New Zealand. And tomorrow, I'll have to start on supporting Mum, whatever happens.

Post by **SPUDMASHER** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:03 pm

bloody hell mate, sorry to hear that. I don't really know what to say so probably best that I don't say too much. Really sad news.

Post by **REB** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:03 pm

sorry to hear that , dont know what to say to be honest, always hard when it happens to your own

gus ceasar is a legend · Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:08 pm

George mate, I really do not know what to say as words really are not enough.

I feel truly gutted for you and your words have just made my worries insignificant.

Vicki has just read your post too and asks me to send her love.

I have missed your witty and intelligent ramblings on here fella.

All the best to you and your family mate and only hope you can make the best of the time left you have together!

Kevinho · Post by **Kevinho** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:09 pm

26may1989, I don't know you from Adam but I am really sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine what you're going through. The only thing I can say is cherish every second you get to spend with your mother. Take comfort in your friends and family, I'm sure you have plenty of shoulders to cry on and plenty of people who'll just take time to listen to you should you need it.

olgitgooner · Post by **olgitgooner** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:29 pm

Horrible time for you and your family.

You deserve that beer.

26may1989 · Post by **26may1989** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:44 pm

Thanks for the kind thoughts, much appreciated. Now, where's that drink gone....?

Post by **Dicko** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:52 pm

George - sorry to hear your sad news. Good luck with the supporting role.

Post by **g88ner** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:27 pm

Mate, you don't have to apologise for this thread.. in fact, sometimes it just helps to get it off your chest.

All I can say, is be there for your mother, and support her the best you can. Of course it's incredibly sad and an emotonal time for everyone involved, but just try to have as many happy moments as possible, as a smile and a bit of laughter can bring a little joy and happiness into all out lives.

All the best.

ds · Post by ds » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:36 pm

Not sure what to say but my thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Hope you find solace in wonderful memories making the best of your time together.

xx

Wayno · Post by **Wayno** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:54 pm

I'm very sorry to hear of your Mums sad news. Stay strong and cherish every moment with your Mum.

Your forum friends are here for you as and when you need us.

stearmaster · Post by **stearmaster** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:54 pm

sorry to hear the sad news mate

Post by **Chippy** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:56 pm

Sorry mate. my mum died of that about 10 years ago. By a weird coincidence my best mates mum died of the same thing about 6 months later.

practiacl advice. Find out where is the nearest hospice to your mum and go and talk to them about what they will do for her. The people who run those places are unbelievable saints. Also contact Macmillan nurses also fab. Won't take a way the pain but will stop things being a lot worse.

My thoughts are with you.

northbankbren · Post by **northbankbren** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:05 am

I'm sure I go for everyone here that all our thoughts go out to you and your family.

greatgooner · Post by **greatgooner** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:06 am

So sorry to hear of your news.
I canâ€™t say I know how youâ€™re feeling but you and your family are in my prayers.